Don't let me be Misunderstood
by Dragon Toes
Summary: Yuki and Haru are happy together, but then Akito allows a girl to live with Yuki. Haru's black side kicks in to keep his love, and the results may be more deadly than imagined COMPLETED
1. Truly, Madly, Deeply

            Ok, my second fic! Just to get all confusion out of the way, this story uses many characters points of view, it switches between characters on my whim, don't worry, when I switch a characters view, its clearly labeled by the characters name. The first part though, I've left out who's saying what, oh joy for suspense and mystery -_o. This fic's rating will go up for language and violence. Anyway, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. I also do not own the song titles that I use for my story title and chapters, they belong to the lovely artists who inspire me. This is not really a song fic, more like a fic with a soundtrack of sorts haha.

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Baby, do you understand me now?  
Sometimes I feel a little mad  
But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel  
When things go wrong I seem to be bad.  
  
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

If I seem edgy, I want you to know,  
That I never meant to take it out on you  
Life has its problems, and I've got my share,  
And that's one thing I never mean to do  
  
'Cause I love you,  
  
Baby - don't you know I'm human  
I have thoughts like any other man  
Sometimes I feel myself, Lord, regretting  
Some foolish thing, some foolish thing I've done  
  
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood  
  
Baby, do you understand me now?  
Sometimes I feel a little mad  
But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel  
When things go wrong I seem to be bad.

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree  
With a joy that's hard to hide  
And sometimes it seems that, all I have to do is worry  
And then you're bound to see my other side  
  
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

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"How could you?" He whispered out.

            I stared down at my bloody hands. "What did I do?" I thought to myself. I looked over to the mangled corpse, feeling numb. I did it. I did it but it wasn't working to plan.

            "How could you?! You bastard!" He screamed at me. His face was white, painted with shock and terror. His eyes were wide and staring at me, tears pouring from his eyes. His harsh screaming and flowing tears made me realize what had happened. I did it. I clapped a hand to my mouth, and tasted blood. I mumbled out, "oh my god." 

            It all came back to me then.

(Earlier on, before Tohru is living at Shigure's house)

                        ~~~~~Haru~~~~~

I walked next to Yuki, and there was never a moment that I wished I was elsewhere this evening in the woods near the Sohma house. His soft hand in mine made my heart jump.

I looked at the boy, and for once he looked happy and free. He had forgotten the troubles that he was dealt back at the house. I felt so warm inside. Yuki was happy, that alone would've kept me satisfied. But not only was he happy, he was happy with me. 

All that time I had wanted him, he wanted me back. I was blind to it, till I broke down and told him my feelings. Those feelings used to tear me to pieces. Wanting so badly to be there, make him happy, but I couldn't, he'd never accept me. I told him all that, and he held me. Wrapped his arm around me telling me he knew, he understood it all. I had asked him how he could, told him he hadn't a clue what it felt like. He reassured me he did; he had watched me for the longest time too. I remember staring at him, expecting to wake up from that dream at any moment. The dream was still going, and we had never been happier.

"Beautiful out, isn't it?" Yuki sighed contentedly.

I smiled glancing around to the trees, they were beautiful yes, as were the flowers growing on the ground, though, I couldn't bring myself to say they were the most beautiful thing here.

            "Not as beautiful as you, Yuki-kun," I told him, meaning every syllable.

            He blushed and grinned playfully, "I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted, I don't think guys are meant to be beautiful."

            "That's too bad, because you are." I wrapped my arm around his waist, leaned over and nibbled on his neck.

            "Haru cut it out that tickles!" Yuki said giggling and squirming away. 

            I felt him lose his balance and start to fall. Not wanting him hurt, I turned taking the fall and his small frame landed on me.  The color rose in Yuki's cheeks again and I couldn't help but chuckle.

            "Are you laughing at me?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

            "Yes, I'm sorry my love" I told him with a playful smirk.

            A devilishly mischievous look that worried me came across his face. "Well then, you'll just have to sleep in your own bed tonight." 

            The setting sun painting shadows over Yuki's smug face made him look almost like Akito. Then again he was like Akito; he held complete power over me. "No" a small voice in my head reminded me it was different. Akito ruled with cruelty and fear, Yuki ruled with love. Then again, wasn't the reason the love ruled you was because you feared to lose it? Because being without the one you love is the cruelest punishment possible? "It's still different" I confirmed to myself, and shook the thought from my head.

            "That's so cold Yuki, you know my bed is twice as hard as yours"

            He laughed at me not willing to admit I could care less about the bed, it was who was in it who counted, and he knew it. His laughter was sweet honey to my ears. If Yuki was happy, I was happy. I placed my hand to his cheek and trailed my thumb over his soft lips. I felt and saw him smile.

            "I love you Yuki," I told him, never uttering truer words in my life.

            A warmth came into his eyes as he murmured back, "I love Haru, and only Haru, and forever Haru."

            The feeling that came over me at hearing these treasured words was indescribable. I guess the only way to describe what I was feeling was love, true love.  I stared into his eyes for a moment, then moved to gently kiss him. I felt Yuki's velvet mouth accept and return my kiss.

            We broke our kiss, and Yuki scooted off of me, cuddling next to me instead. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. We lay together, staring at the sky, it was a perfect moment. Now I understood why so many poets chose to write about love, impossible to describe, and a poet's job is to describe the indescribable. The air was starting to cool, it was starting to get dark, and the stars were peeking out of their hiding spots. It spoiled my mood slightly to think of other things, but Akito would be angry with our lateness, and I liked to keep Akito happy. When Akito was happy, he left Yuki alone. My thoughts were interrupted by a yawn from Yuki, and his silky face nuzzling mine.

I smiled at him, and though I could've lain there forever, I asked him, "Well, sleepy, do you think we should be going? It is getting rather late."

            He sighed heavily and then nodded. I stood up and Yuki followed. We walked together in silence, I held out my hand, expecting him to grab it. To my surprise he moved closer resting his head on my shoulder and his arm wrapped around my waist.  I wrapped my arm around him, and we walked back to the Sohma house, and I never wanted that walk to end. 

            ~~~~~~~Akito~~~~~~~

Yuki and Haru came up the walk, I had been watching, waiting for their return. I knew about them for awhile now. I decided I would let them be for now. As I told Hatori, the longer they loved, the harder it'd be when they broke. When I told Hatori this, I laughed, he didn't find it funny. As they walked up, I looked to Yuki's face, he looked happy, safe and warm in Haru's arms. I felt a surge run through me, a surge of anger, fear and jealousy. Anger that my pets dare defy my will. The fear of losing grip on Yuki, my special pet rat. The jealousy that I could not feel the happiness in their hearts, and jealousy because Yuki had never smiled like that for me. Yuki was mine, he always would be, and I think he and Haru needed to be reminded.

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That's it for now, this chapter was super mushy, I apologize. -_0 The next chapter gets way less mushy, I promise!


	2. Killing Game

Ok, this chapter is more angsty, and a bit more violent (hence the rating upper).

I do not own Fruits Basket

_"I taught the killing game first till at last you regret tortured animals wake up time beckons death upon myself"_

~~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~~

Haru and I walked back to the house. How I hated that place. The fear I felt every time I walk in is near unbearable. The only reason istay is because of Haru, because I love him. It then crossed my mind that the one who caused my terror was most likely watching us right now, as we were close to the house. "Dammit, we may have been seen," I thought to myself. Haru's arm was still lovingly wrapped around me. It hurt me to do so, but I pulled away from him. We couldn't be found out, it was too dangerous. Haru gave me a confused glance as I pulled away, but then he nodded, seemingly sad.

We walked up the path and into the house silently. I turned to head to mine and Haru's room when Hatori's voice murmured out, "Yuki, Akito wants to see you."

My heart just about stopped beating; we had been seen then. I stared at Hatori for a moment and noticed a sympathetic look in his eye. He had been giving me that look a lot lately, like he knew something bad was going to happen to me. I looked to Haru he wore a frightened look that probably matched mine. I wanted to cling to him, tell him to not let that monster get me. Instead I did what I always do, take a deep breath, and head down that long dark hallway to Akito's room. 

I know what prisoners on death row felt like when they have to take that final walk to their death. The walk is surreal, it takes forever, but not long enough, because when you finally do reach the end, you wish you hadn't. I've now reached the end. 

As I raised my hand to knock, Akito's voice coos, "come in Yuki"

I opened the door and walked in. I was sweating terror, and was shaking like a wet dog as I sat upon the floor. I prayed for him to not see my fear. Akito was standing with his back to me, watching his bird it seemed. I wish I could see his face, then I could see some expression of what he was feeling. This is what made Akito a master of his craft. He knew how to hold you in terror, and the perfect moment to strike. The silence was deadly and painful.

"Did you forget you are mine Yuki?" Akito said, his back still to me, "am I that easily forgotten?"

Akito whipped around so fast I didn't even see the blow, I only felt it. A cry of pain and surprise escaped me. I looked to my shoulder where I had been hit, my shirt was slashed open and blood was leaking out of a gash. My eyes widened as I realized he had done more than hit me. I stared at Akito, in his hand he held a sharp silver letter opener, decorated with birds and my blood.

"If I am that easily forgotten Yuki, I will just have to try harder to make you and that cow remember who you belong to!" Akito shouted, his voice full of rage.

"NO! Leave Haru out of this!" I shouted back, nearly echoing Akito for volume and rage.

Akito's eyes widened in surprise. In all the times I had been here, I had never yelled back at Akito; ever. His eyes narrowed, and he shook with a new level of rage.

"What? You dare argue, you _dare_ raise your voice to me? Has it slipped your memory who I am?!" Akito's voice thundered out, still keeping an eerie air of calm. His arm lashed out and grabbed my hair, yanking me painfully forward and close to his glaring eyes.

"Have you forgotten who owns you? Who is your god?" his voice took a new sinister menacing tone.

            I felt a small whimper escape my throat and I silently cursed myself for showing weakness. I had to show strength, if not for myself then for Haru. He threw me to the ground, so I was kneeling before him. I stayed silent, hoping he would accept it for my answer. I knew deep down he wouldn't.

"Who do you belong to Yuki? Answer me," Akito hissed, dragging the blade down the back of my shirt, tearing the thin fabric open and leaving my back exposed.

My mind screamed for me to say "Akito! You own me, you're my god", end this punishment before it became worse, but my heart wouldn't allow it.

"Haru," I said quietly, but I was surprised by the strength in my voice, "Haru is my god, and I am his, always."

Akito stood there in shock. I had never behaved this way in front of him, never been so defiant. "You think that idiot cow is your god?"

I had never been more terrified in my life. Akito was shocked for a moment, but when he recovered, he might kill me. If it came down to that would I let him? Or would I take that knife and turn it on him?

"Well then… like in the story where the followers of the golden calf were punished, so shall you," Akito said, his voice dangerously calm.

            His arm came down, and I felt the point of the blade on my back for a moment, then it sunk it to my skin. I shut my eyes in pain, the blade wasn't deep, but it still hurt.

            "You say Haru is your god, but where is he now? I don't see him stopping this!" Akito snarled, and he slowly dragged the blade down my back.

            "Only I can stop this, but you must tell me who truly owns you," he said like a man on the verge of victory.

            I felt him pull the blade out, and place it on another spot on my back.

            "Tell me Yuki, who owns you?" he whispered, and I knew he was smiling evilly even though I was staring at the floor, I could hear the smile in his voice. He expected me to break.

            "Haru"

            The blade sunk in again and he drug it down my back at an excruciatingly slow pace. I clenched my teeth, my eyes filled with tears. A scream built inside my chest, the scream was trying to tear out. I refused to let the tears fall or the scream escape me. I wouldn't give Akito the satisfaction, he would not break me. I felt blood start to trickle down my sides.

            "Let's try this again Yuki, who do you belong to?" Akito asked as though this was the simplest question in the world.

            "Haru"

The letter opener sunk in again and pulled down. Again I held my screams and tears.

            Akito lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes, "Yuki, is that perversion worth it?"

            I narrowed my eyes in response, "perversion?"

            "You and Haru, it's wrong. The cow and the rat? Ridiculous. The rat made a fool of the cow. The cow is stupid and mundane. The rat, the sweet, cunning, special rat," Akito gently stroked my jaw line, I shivered at the touch, "the rat is above the cow." He was staring into my eyes, yet I couldn't read his feeling.

            I stared at him and whispered, "No, you're wrong. It wasn't stupidity. It was something you wouldn't understand, it was love. The cow _let _the mouse ride on his back, everyone was just too ignorant to realize that."

            Akito pressed the blade to my back, "no, it was stupidity, and it seems to be rubbing off on my precious rat."

            Again I felt the blade sink in and slowly drag down my back. Again I refused to cry out.

            "Now Yuki, who do you belong to, who is your god?"

            "Haru"

            The blade sunk in.

            He asked this over and over, for what felt like an eternity. Every time, I told the truth. Haru, it was Haru. The truth was killing me though, I felt blood all over my back, and saw it in puddles on the floor. "Mine," I thought to myself, "all that blood is mine." I was getting dizzy from the blood loss.

            "Yuki! You belong to me! You are mine!" Akito roared, his patience had run thin. He jammed the blade in deeper than before. He drug it down, twisting as he went.

            I couldn't hold it in, this pain was too much, a scream escaped me.

            "You are to move out of the Sohma house tomorrow Yuki or I will do this again and again!" Akito said frigidly as footsteps pounded down the hall.

            "You are mine Yuki"

            "No..." I whispered out, collapsing on the floor. 

I looked up from the puddle of blood I was lying in. Akito looked furious and ready to strike again. I heard the door open, but didn't have the strength to turn my head and look.

"Oh my… Yuki!"  A familiar voice rang out, I heard his footsteps run towards me; then his loving arms lifted my head up.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU FILTHY COW!" Akito roared.

I heard another pair of footsteps enter the room, though much calmer. "Akito, I must tend to Yuki, he's lost a lot of blood it seems. I need to attend to his injuries or he may die."

Akito's voice took a tone of concern, "die? Hatori, fix him now, he dies and you will pay for killing him."

It was getting hard to see now. I felt a pair of strong yet gentle arms scoop me up carefully. I looked up and saw Hatori's blurry face. I was slipping in and out, I could see, and then I couldn't. I wasn't even sure where I was, then I felt Hatori set me stomach down on a bed. "I wonder if this is what it's like to die" I thought to myself. I felt a hand grip my hand, and another hand brush hair out of my face.

"Hang in there Yuki, you can't leave me, you can't," I heard a voice sob out. It was murmured and distant, but I knew that voice. It was the voice of my god.

"Haru," my voice was weak, I could barely hear it.

            I felt his hand squeeze mine a little tighter. "Yes Yuki? I'm here, hang in there."

            "I never… he… god…. Haru…. own me…" I was fading fast. I wanted to scream out "I'm yours Haru! I told Akito that. You're my god, not him." I couldn't do it, what I had fought for to tell him, would I not get the chance to now? Everything went black then, and my mouth ceased to work.

            "Yuki? Yuki! Wake up!"

            Then it was silent, and I thought no more.

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            Is Yuki dead? Guess you'll have to wait till the next chapter! Please review if you want to know, it keeps me going!     


	3. Dreamer

~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~

"Yes Yuki? I'm here, hang in there," I said, gripping his hand. He felt so cold. The blood, oh the blood. That scene would forever haunt me. I had been sitting at the end of the hall, waiting for Yuki to exit. It had been an hour, the longest hour I had lived. My worry mounted every minute, and I knew it was most likely dragging even worse for Yuki. I had heard a scream of pure pain. I jumped to my feet and ran down the hall into Akito's room, Hatori walking quickly behind me.

Yuki was lying facedown in a pool of blood, long thin lines on his back were trickling out blood, and one large jagged tear was pouring blood. Akito had been standing over him, clasping a letter opener in his hand. The letter opener was dripping, and his hand was splattered with blood.

"Oh my… Yuki!" I yelled in shock, and I ran to him. I gently lifted him out of the blood, and realized how badly hurt he was.

"GET OUT YOU FILTHY COW!" Akito boomed out, furious I entered his domain. I held onto Yuki, Akito would harm him no more.

I heard Hatori enter the room before me and calmly say, "Akito, I must tend to Yuki, he's lost a lot of blood it seems. I need to attend to his injuries or he may die." I thought it was insane how calm he could be at a time like this; and how could he speak of Yuki's death so monotonously?

I looked up and saw Akito's eyes were wide and he looked concerned, "die? Hatori, fix him now, he dies and you will pay for killing him."

I wanted to take that letter opener and slice that bastard wide open. "_You will pay for killing him?" I thought to myself. Could Akito really think it would be Hatori's fault, not his own? My rage was mounting, I tried to calm down. Getting beat up and going black would not help Yuki right now I reminded myself. Hatori carefully scooped Yuki up and carried him to the doctor office he had set up in the main house. I followed. Hatori laid him down on the bed and went to rummage in medical supplies._

I kneeled next to Yuki, held his hand and brushed some hair out of his face, "Hang in there Yuki, you can't leave me, you can't." Tears were threatening to fall, I was terrified of losing him, I would die if he died, I couldn't live without him. If he died, Akito would be mine. I would kill him, and then turn the weapon I used on myself.

"Haru" Yuki called out, his voice was so very weak, it was barely a whisper.

"Yes Yuki? I'm here, hang in there."

His was squinting though he couldn't see me, and trying to talk, but he was weak, it had to be hard. "I never… he… god…. Haru…. own me…"

I stared at him in confusion, god? Own me? Was he trying to say he was leaving? Going to god or what not? No… that couldn't be…. Haru own me? Was he trying to say-?

I noticed his eyes shut, and he wasn't alert anymore, I panicked, no he couldn't do this, he couldn't die.

"Yuki? Yuki! Wake up!" I shouted with the tears again threatening to rain down from my eyes. "YUKI!!!!"

Hatori grabbed me, "Haru, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now, I'm sorry, you'll only be in my way."

I started to protest but realized by the look in Hari's eye that time was short, and the longer I argued, the longer it would be before he could care for Yuki.  I left the room without an argument, and Hatori went to work on Yuki.

I sat outside Hatori's door, crying and hoping for Yuki to be ok. I needed him. I kept seeing the image of Yuki lying in that pool of blood; I couldn't shake it from my head. If I had known that Akito was going to do this, I would've taken his place, not let him go. I would've taken the punishment.

 I leaned against the wall, and felt myself starting to drift off to sleep. I was exhausted, but needed to stay awake, I needed to wait for Yuki. I felt my eyes close though, and my head nod off, before I knew it, I was sunk in dreamland.

His arm was around me, and I was crying, "I'm so stupid… I can't believe I lost Checker… the class is going to hate me." I had done it this time. I had been left care of the 5th grade class hamster Checker for the weekend. I had decided to let him run around, and he had run away. I had been crying, knowing doom awaited me when I returned to school Monday. Yuki came in, and had asked me what was wrong. I told him my story. He sat next to me and hugged me, "no Haru, you aren't stupid, you were being kind and an accident happened."

"NO! I am stupid, I'm the cow, and the cow is an idiot that's easily tricked and I am dumb dumb dumb!" I bawled out burying my head on my knees. 

I felt Yuki gently lift my head up, "Haru, do you really think the cow was tricked into carrying the mouse on his back?"

I stared at him and part of me wondered if this mouse… this mouse who had told me I wasn't stupid, was about to trick me now. "Yes… of course the cow was tricked, because the cow is brainless. That's the legend."

Yuki nodded and smiled, "that's the legend… but the legend is wrong. The cow wasn't tricked, the cow let the mouse ride on his back."

"Well then the cow was stupid anyway, allowing himself to be used like that, offering someone a ride like that knowing he'd be made a fool for no reason." I said defensively.

Yuki looked into my eyes, "he had a reason. The cow let the mouse ride on his back, even though he knew it may cause him trouble. He let the mouse because he loved the mouse… and the mouse loved him. He thought it was worth it. They knew the true story, but everyone else was stupid, and thought the cow was an idiot. They were wrong."

I stared at Yuki in awe. This story did make sense, I didn't know if it was true or not, but I liked it. It amazed me how Yuki could always make me feel better. I realized I really liked him, he was my best friend in my mind, though sometimes thoughts nagged at me that I liked him more than the title friend deserved. Brother maybe? I wasn't sure. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight, burying my face in his shoulder. "Arigato, arigato Yuki…. Arigato" I told him, and I felt him return my hug. He had reminded me again, that I was not stupid.

"Haru, Haru wake up, Haru," the dream faded away as I was shaken and my name was called. I opened my eyes and there was Hatori, gently shaking me and calling my name.

I jolted up and asked, "where's Yuki, is he ok? He's ok right I mean-"

"shush, he's fine, you can go in and see him now, but try not to wake him up, he needs lots of rest." Hatori said quietly.

I was already on my feet and heading in the door by the time he had finished his sentence. I sat on the edge of Yuki's bed, and saw his back was completely bandaged, a small bandage was on his shoulder as well. He was sleeping, though a look of unease was on his face.

"Those bandages will work?" I asked in a whisper.

"For the small ones. I had to stitch the large gash." Hatori answered, "You may sleep in here tonight if you wish Haru, just don't move him around too much, or keep him awake. I'm going to see Akito now… goodnight." He walked out the door silently, shutting it behind him.

I pulled off my socks and shirt and climbed into bed next to Yuki. I tried to be quiet and careful, and not wake him, but it didn't work.

"Haru," he whispered.

"Shh Yuki, you need to sleep, you need rest." I told him, gently wrapping my arms around him.

He laid his head on my chest and put his arm over my stomach. "Yes… but I need to tell you something… I…" he stopped for a moment, still weak and having a hard time talking much. "I never broke…. I said I was yours…. Not… Akito's…."

I stared at him, "that's why Akito did this to you? Because you said you were mine, not his?"

He nodded and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Why….," I whispered, "Why didn't you just say it to make him happy… He wouldn't have hurt you…"

Yuki looked up at me and said, "I couldn't lie… I belong to Haru, and I couldn't lie, it would've hurt me worse than Akito could have ever done."

I felt a tear run down my cheek and I held onto him a little tighter. I kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Arigato, arigato Yuki…. Arigato" I looked down at him, and he already drifted into sleep, the look of unease he had before was replaced with a look of peace. I smiled at him, and shut my eyes, ready to sleep.

~~~~~~~2 years earlier, Haru~~~~~~~~

It was a spring day, and I was sitting in a tree thinking. "No… he was my friend… my friend…not more, I like him as my friend." I had tried to convince myself this. Ever since I had first seen Yuki that first time in the window, I had felt a strange want to be near him. I hadn't felt this before with Momiji, or any of my other friends. I had been passing it off as just a thought of him being my best friend. Till the day last week that I saw a girl I liked, and felt the same thing, only weaker. I was so confused, I was in 7th grade, I barely liked girls, so how the heck could I like boys? Well… a boy. It was weird how little things that happened with him made me feel. If I made him smile, I felt incredibly joyful. If I made him feel bad, I would be depressed for days, till he told me with a smile it was ok, it didn't matter.

I remembered in art class, I worked for days on a little clay cow, complete with a little mouse on its back. I gave it to Yuki, with a note that read, "For the times you've made me happy, and for when Checker got loose. Thanks for being my friend." I remember going into his room once, certain my cow would be in there. I had looked around, and felt like crying, I found it in his sock drawer, wrapped up in a sock, and buried under many other clothes. I was convinced he hated me. I moped for a week. Yuki had started to get concerned and asked what was wrong. I told him while my eyes teared over. He smiled, gently took my hand, and led me to his room, where the little cow and mouse sat on a table next to his bed. He told me how last week, Ayame had come to visit. Not wanting it broken by his thoughtless brother, he packed it away. Seeing the present I gave him next to his bed made giddy, and I ran around happily for weeks.

If that wasn't love, what was? I thought to myself. I did… I liked him…. What else would explain…"No, stop it" I mumbled to myself. I was wrong, I was…

I saw movement below me, breaking my thoughts. Yuki passed by the tree, oblivious to me above him. He looked around, and then sat at the base of the tree. My heart thumped in my chest, it was either jump down now, let him know I was there, or stay and watch. I knew the right thing to do was to jump down, but I couldn't. I wanted to watch him. He pulled out a notebook and started to write in it. I couldn't see what he was writing, it looked like a poem. What I wouldn't have given to read it. I strained my eyes trying to get a closer look. Was that my name right there in that writing? If I could just get a little closer… I heard the branch snap, and I was in the air, the ground flying up at me. I landed with a thump and groaned. I heard Yuki give out a little shout when I fell.

"Haru?! What the hell?!" He exclaimed, and then I remembered, I had been spying, he didn't know I was up there. 

"Oh… crap" I thought to myself. I mumbled out, "Oh I was sitting in the tree and saw you come out and I uh uh uh…"

Yuki's eyes widened, "you were watching me? Why didn't you say you were there?!"

I started to stutter trying to think of a reply, and spotted Yuki's notebook, now lying on the ground. That _was _my name, and what did that other thing say?..

Yuki saw where my eyes were and quickly snatched up the notebook, his face beet red, "get away from me! I can't believe you did that! And don't try and read my stuff!" 

Before I could apologize he was on his feet, running off to the main house.

I felt like I had been slapped… No, like I had been stabbed. And it wasn't from the fall. I stood up, and tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to fall. "Baka" I whispered to myself and then slammed my fists against the tree, "I'M SO STUPID!" Tears over flowed from my eyes. I knew it then, I loved him, there was no question. I stood up, I knew what I needed to know, and I knew what I needed to do. I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed to the main house. When I walked in, I went straight up to Yuki's room, and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" I heard Yuki's voice from inside.

"It's me… Haru"

"Go away!" I heard Yuki say, though a part of his voice sounded like he didn't mean it.

Inside something nagged me to leave, not push my luck, but it was now or never I decided, I had to tell him. It was eating me alive, I had to tell him.

"Yuki… I need to talk to you… its important." I hoped my voice sounded sincere.

There was a pause for a moment, then Yuki said softly, "Ok... come in"

I opened the door and walked in, Yuki was sitting on his bed, his notebook was set to the side closed. I shut the door behind me and glanced around. The little cow and mouse still sat on the table next to his bed. Inside I smiled; I could've laughed out loud, but decided it might be a bad idea. I stood in the middle of the room, as he had no chairs. Yuki looked up at me, his face was expressionless. 

"You can sit down if you want," he said, nodding at an open spot on his bed.

"Oh… thank you," I sat down, thinking of exactly what I was going to say.

"Yuki I-" "Haru I-" we both started at the same time. 

"Oh... you go first Haru."

"Nope, you first I insist," I told him.

"Oookay…. I wanted to say sorry for freaking out earlier… It wasn't that big of deal." Yuki said, looking at the floor. 

"Eh, I should have said I was there. So I'm sorry too. I know why I did it though. I realized something today, something that's bothered me for a long time. 

Yuki looked at me curiously, "oh?... what did you realize?"

My mind was racing, what would he do when I told him that I loved him? Would he be grossed out? Tell me to never see him again? Maybe he would beat the crap out of me. I knew that he most likely wouldn't be happy, but what could I do? I had to tell him, so when I acted strangely around him, he would know why. That and if I didn't tell him it would drive me crazy and consume me, like it had for the past week. I glanced at the little cow and mouse sitting on Yuki's bedside and remembered the story. The cow loved the mouse… the cow still loves the mouse. Didn't Yuki say the mouse also loved the cow? Maybe that was sill true, one could hope.

I stared at the floor, and was about to start talking when I realized I needed to look at him when I told him this. I took all the courage left in me and looked him directly in the eyes, "I realized I love someone, someone that will never accept me back."

Yuki looked at me confused for a moment, "Haru why are you telling me th-" he cut his sentence off and his eyes widened slightly. "Wait you don't mean me do you?!" Yuki yelped out.

I felt a lump form in my throat and my eyes tear up. "GODAMNIT DON'T CRY" I thought to myself. I was going to beat the hell out of myself when I was done with this. I didn't dare speak; I knew my voice would crack, so instead I nodded... I stole a glance at Yuki; he was staring at me, his face showed shock. I couldn't take this, I had to get out now before he recovered and started to get mad. I stood up and turned to the door when I felt Yuki grab my arm and pull me back.

"Wait…." He said, his indigo eyes pleading with me.

I sat back down, wondering what he could possibly want with me after I had dropped this bomb…

"Yuki, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry, I don't know why I- I mean I… I" my voice was cracking and it was getting harder to talk without letting tears spill.

I felt him grab me and pull me into a tight embrace. I felt my eyes widen and I made a squeak sound out of instinct.  "What the he-" escaped my mouth, but once again I was cut off.

"You don't know how long I've wished you'd say those words," Yuki whispered still hugging me tight.

I pulled back and stared at him, "WHAT?!"

He giggled a little.

"What's so funny?!" I yelped.

"Gomen… it's just how surprised you looked. I wanted to tell you for the longest time…. I just couldn't find the words."

He hugged me again and this time I let him hold onto me, and I silently laughed, finally feeling happy, truly happy.

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            woot, another chapter! Review please! I will try and get the next chapter up soon, who might show up in the next chapter? Stay tuned to find out!


	4. Lonely is the Night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I drifted out of sleep and looked up at the ceiling. My back was throbbing, and I ached all over. Haru and I had moved away from each other in our sleep. I vaguely remembered him coming in and stopping Akito. He had saved me, him and Hatori both. I would thank them both, though needless to say in different ways. 

"Hey you shouldn't you be asleep?" Haru's voice whispered.

I jumped slightly, startled by his voice in the quiet room. I looked over at him and smiled, "I know, I just have lots on my mind."

"Things like?"

I sighed and cuddled up to him, "Akito said I have to move out tomorrow…."

Haru looked at me and smiled, "hey that means you don't have to be near Akito anymore! That's good. I mean you'll have to leave Hatori, Momiji, Kisa and m-" he stopped talking and his smile faded. It had occurred to him it meant I would be away from him as well.

"Well… I'll move with you then. Tomorrow I'll tell Akito I'm moving out too." Haru said. 

"No"

He gave me a confused look, "why not? I'm sure Shigure won't mind me living with him too, well that is where you're moving to right?"

"Yes but that's not the problem… I'm not having you go to Akito and telling him you're moving out. He is furious about us, and I'm not having you hurt. We will be fine in different houses… you can visit me, and we can still hang out. We can still do everything we did before." I told him, scooting closer and laying my head on his warm bare chest again.  I felt his chest rise and fall in a heavy sigh, and he stayed silent.

"No... It won't be the same and you know it Yuki. We're going to drift apart if we're separated like that, because I can't just up and visit, you know me I'll get lost. You won't come here because of obvious reasons… Akito will be furious if I visit all the time anyway so what's the difference?" He said, his voice sounded irritated, but it hinted he was on the verge of tears.

I looked up at his face and I saw him staring at the ceiling, his face twisted into a hurt expression, and trying not to cry. I felt my heart break, I was hurting him again, I had put him through so much. He dealt with me injured so badly, him always coming up for excuses for our long absences before because I couldn't stutter out things in front of Akito. Here I was, hurting him again. He would be so much better off without me.

I wrapped my arms around him and embraced him as tight as I could muster in my weak condition. "Haru…. that won't happen. I can't drift from you; it's not possible for me."

"Yeah… sure…" he replied, the doubt in his voice was clear.  I held onto him and sighed. I could tell he didn't believe me, and it was a sting. 

"Trust me Haru… please… "

"I do…"

I looked into his eyes, "then believe me that we'll see each other… nothing is going to change."

A smile slowly crept across his face and he wrapped his strong arms around my weak frame. He believed me now, he didn't say it, but he didn't need to. I was exhausted, as I'm sure Haru was. We both drifted off to sleep, dreams of sweetness in our heads.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Shigure~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hatori had called me and asked a favor of me the night before. Yuki and Akito it seemed had gotten into what Hari called a 'scuffle' the night before. Akito had ordered Yuki out of the house. I couldn't imagine what drove Akito to do _that sending his special pet away? Strange events indeed. Anyhow, Hatori had asked me to let Yuki live at my abode. _

"Ha-san, if I were to do that, Yuki-kun would be exposed to raging parties with the lovely underage school girls! Goodness knows we can't have that!" I exclaimed into the phone, giggling like a little girl.

There was silence from the other line, and I smiled slightly. I loved harassing Hatori, it drove him crazy, but he wouldn't show it!

"Shigure… this is rather serious." Hatori said in his normal impassive tone.

I stopped giggling, "Hai hai, I know, what exactly happened?"

"Hmmm… well you know how Haru and Yuki have been close lately…. Akito finally decided to do something about it." Hatori said.

"Oh… I see… well! Of course Yuki-kun can live here…" I grinned to myself, "Does that mean Aya and me need to end our nightly activities?"

"You never stop do you?"

"Absolutely not"

The boys came over later that day, and I had never seen Yuki in such a state, he could barely walk. I looked out the window, he and Haru were coming up the walk, Haru carrying Yuki's suitcase in one arm, and the other was wrapped around Yuki. It was sweet in a sorrowful way; it reminded me of two other young boys, two boys who walked up a path like that about 13 years ago…  

 "Hari! What is wrong with you! You won't even look at meeeee." I whined, my 14 year old voice cracked in its awkward way. Even with my whining he still would not look at me. Sure he wasn't exactly close and cuddly, he called me an idiot a lot, and wasn't the most affectionate all the time, but there was never a time he wouldn't even look at me. I stopped walking and stared at him, my eyes watering up and I squeaked out, "HAAATOOORIIIII HATES MEEEE!"

Hatori walked on for a few feet, and then without looking at me said, "No, I don't… but Akito said if we meet again, he'll hurt us both. Akito wanted me to take you to your uncle's house… Akito said he needs me to stay with him… so you're moving out…" With this he nodded to my uncle's house, a little ways up the path. He turned around, heading back to the Sohma house and I stared at him.

"You're taking orders from a six year old?" I asked him, the strong Hatori I knew was going to be beaten that easily? Something was wrong here. My eyes widened a little, I knew what was going on here.

"Seka…. It's her huh? This has nothing to do to Akito." 

Hatori turned around, "what? That's preposterous." 

"NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! Akito lets you have a tutor, god knows why, you're the smartest Sohma there is! And you take full advantage of that… I-I-I" I couldn't finish saying my sentence, so I ran to my uncle's house, ready to never see Hatori again.

I shook my head quickly, these thoughts bombarding me in a second's time. Haru and Yuki held each other in a tight embrace, and I smiled slightly, silently hoping they wouldn't endure too much pain. I walked downstairs and out the door.

"AWE that's so cute, though shouldn't you wait till you're inside Yuki-kun, Haru-kun?" I said playfully.

"Shut up Shigure" Yuki and Haru both responded, though it had been rehearsed.

I giggled again and walked inside, off to do some work, new inspiration had struck.

~~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~~~~~

Hatori offered to drive us over to the main house, and Haru had said no. Hatori had frowned, telling him to think of my condition but I assured him we would be fine. Haru and I would have less time together alone, so we should take every opportunity we had. Haru insisted he carry the suitcase I had packed my belongings in. I owned little enough so it could fit in one bag. I normally didn't like to hang extremely close to Haru when we walked down the street, no more than holding hands usually, but today I leaned into him the whole way, allowing him to keep his arm wrapped tightly around me. We passed only a couple people on that cool fall day, I couldn't help but smirk, they most likely thought I was a girl. 

I clung a little tighter to Haru, still feeling weak. He smiled at me and then looked back out like he was in deep thought. I knew that look, he was thinking, planning.

"Haru… whatever you're thinking of…don't." I said quietly.

He looked at me, trying to play dumb, "hmm what are you-"

"Haru… I know you're coming up with a plan. Don't… we'll be ok like this." I said, my tone concrete.

I was given his puppy eyes, but I stayed by my words. He looked at the ground and nodded.

We were soon at Shigure's house, and I looked up to my new home. It didn't look so bad, much cheerier than the main house actually… I tried to think of the positives. No more Akito, no more Momiji squeaking and bouncing around at 5am, no more Akito, no more Kyou when that stupid cat finally did come back to the house, no more Akito, no more fear… no more Akito.  

We got inside the gate and Haru put my bag down, and wrapped his other arm around me. I sunk into his arms of comfort and safety. It felt strangely like a goodbye though. Which was utterly ridiculous wasn't it? This wasn't anywhere near goodbye, we were going to be together forever. Still I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I hated crying in front of people. Even though I trusted Haru completely, and was open with him, I still hated crying in front of him. It made me look weak, and I had to be strong. I don't know why, I just had to be strong, always. I buried my face in Haru's shoulder hoping he wouldn't notice, but he pulled away and looks at me. He put his hand under my chin and made me look up at him. I blinked, and felt my face grow red.

"Yuki….. It's ok to cry… you know I don't think you're weak because of it." Haru said, leaning in and gently kissing me.

It amazed me how he always managed to know just what to say. I smiled, not having to fake it in the least. I stared back into his eyes and returned to his embrace, "thank you Haru."

At this moment Shigure popped out of the door. "AWE that's so cute, though shouldn't you wait till you're inside Yuki-kun, Haru-kun?" Shigure said in his normal goofy tone. His zodiac fit him well; he sounded and acted like a floppy dog.

"Shut up Shigure" Haru and I responded at the same time.

Shigure giggled again, and then headed into the house. Haru rolled his eyes and smiled, "Well, at least you will have an upbeat member of the family to live with right?"

I smirked and responded sarcastically, "yeah… goody goody gumdrops."

Haru smiled and laughed a little, "lets take your stuff up to your room and then you're gonna rest, doc's orders."

Before I could grab my bag Haru had it in his hands and was walking in the house. I smiled and followed him into my room. He set my trunk on the floor and flopped onto the bed Shigure already had made up for me.

"Are you going to unpack now?" Haru asked cocking his head at me.

I smiled and shook my head, "just one thing…" I reached in and pulled out a brown sack. I moved aside some socks and pulled out the little clay cow and mouse Haru had given me many years ago. I loved that little clay statue he made for me. I remember watching him, thinking how I liked him, how he'd never feel that way. The day he had given me the little cow was one of those days I was feeling hopeless. Akito had just finished 'playing' with me, and my side stung from the whip. I had been wondering why I kept up the way I did, when Haru came in and timidly handed me the little cow and mouse statue and ran away, obviously embarrassed. That little present had warmed my heart and reminded me why I still bothered with trying at life. 

Even now, holding that little cow and mouse in my hand made me feel good and reminded me to keep trying, because happiness does exist. I set the statue on the little table near my bed and then lay down next to Haru smiling. Haru was looking at where I put the statue, "Still like that thing?"

I smirked, knowing full well he'd be crushed if I said anything other than yes, lucky him that was the truth. "I will never dislike that. It reminds me that the cow and the rat are meant to be together, since the beginning." I placed my hand on Haru's cheek and he looked at me happily.

"I'm glad it makes you think that, because it's true." 

Haru and I lay on my bed for hours, whispering sweet nothings into each others ears, laughing thinking of memories, and talking of our future, how everything was going to be wonderful. I wished that evening would've never ended, but soon my clock read six, and Haru reluctantly stood up. I glanced out the window, it was getting dark and clouds were covering the sky. 

"Haru, it's going to rain maybe you should stay, then you wouldn't get wet walking home…" I said, hoping this would cross him as a good excuse.

He turned around and kissed me and then whispered, "No…. I have to go back, if I stay tonight, I'm going to beg Akito to let me stay forever."

I sighed deeply, "You're right, bye bye Haru. Sleep tight… Dream of me?"

"I'll hold my pillow, and you hold yours, we'll practically be hugging." Haru said with a smile, and with that he walked out the door.

I leaned my head against my window and watched him walk down the street as a light rain began to fall. This felt so wrong.  Like the clouds, I felt tears rain down my face in a drizzle. I was stupid to feel so sad, it's not like we were never going to see each other again. I flopped back onto my pillow, and glanced at the clay animals. A small smile crept over my face and I hugged my pillow. Everything would be ok.

~~~~Haru~~~~

I walked home from Shigure's house, the light rain drenching me. It amazed me how stable I felt, even though I had left Yuki behind. Of course I was fine, this wasn't goodbye, after all it was walking distance even! Everything was fine. 

When I got home, I had dinner, and then went to my room and flopped on my bed, stereo jamming.

"Mental wounds still screaming, driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train…" I sang along softly, and trailed off going into thought. Was everything really going to be ok? It was going to be different, I already knew that. I reached over and held onto my other pillow, burying my face in it. Yuki's sweet scent still clung to it. I sighed deeply as a familiar song came on my stereo. "So close no matter how far…"

I smiled and curled up and shut my eyes. Everything would be fine. Yuki was still mine, I could call and visit him anytime, it was all going to be fine. With these thoughts in my mind, I let sleep take me.

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Poor Haru and Yuki, I'm so mean to them… Sorry if this chapter was boring, it's going to be picking up real quick! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase review. Bye till next chapter!


	5. Nothing Else Matters

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket   "Nothing Else Matters" belongs to Metallica

~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~

A couple of months have passed since I've moved into Shigure's house. It's not too bad; it's actually sort of a pleasant change. I no longer walk around every corner with fear gripping me like a cold hand, fear of running into Akito. The only thing I really miss about the main house is Haru. He comes over to visit as much as he can, and calls almost every night. This was one of those nights, we had been talking on the phone for hours, talking of school and how things were going. I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, smiling at the funny things, though a sadness rested in me, wishing I was with him.

"I miss you sooooo much," Haru told me.

I sighed, "I miss you too… when can you come visit again?"

"I'm not sure. I want to come spend the night, I'm sure Shigure would never let you hear the end of that though huh?" He chuckled.

"Ergh… probably not. I could sacrifice that though if you could stay,"

"I'll have to talk to Hatori then, see when he can give me a ride over there, I got lost last time. He had to come find me. I was on the other side of town." Haru's laugh made me smile, I wished he could see it. I was worried he thought me cold over the phone.

"Oooh do you hear that music I have playing in the background Yuki?" Haru asked me.

I strained my ears, but could only hear a background murmur, "no, not really"

"Oh… well let me sing it for you," Haru said. His voice grew softer and melodic. He didn't do it often, but when he wanted to, he could sing like the best artist out there. I told him he should be in a band, and he laughed, saying mooing cows aren't wanted for singing.

"So close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trust in who we are, and nothing else matters…. 

Never opened myself this way, life is ours we live it our way

All these words I don't just say, and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday for us something new

Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know 

But I know

So close no matter how far…."

Haru tenderly sang the whole song to me, and it made me again feel warm inside. The lyrics fit so well, and his engaging voice made it impossible for me not to feel better. 

"That was really cute…. I love hearing you sing," I said, and could picture Haru's face growing hot and scarlet.

"Err well... come on it was not adorable."

I laughed slightly, "Yes it was."

"Nu uh"

I smiled and yawned.

"Oooh… Prince Yuki is tired?" Haru asked, switching the embarrassment to me.

I made a face, "don't call me that."

It was Haru's turn to laugh, "alright, but it is ten thirty and we both have school, so Good-night, good-night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good-night till it be morrow."

"Shakespeare? Someone's been reading," I said.

"not really, we had to read it for English. I guess it did come in handy." He joked.

"Appears so.," I replied contentedly, "Goodnight Haru."

"Goodnight."

~~~~Haru, a few days later~~~~~

            I stared at the phone, wondering when it was going to ring. Yuki said he was going to call me around six. It was now eight. I had called the house earlier but no one was home. I sighed deeply and doodled on a piece of paper, listening to the music still cranking out of my stereo. The others always thought I was odd that I would rather have a stereo and a desk than a television and VCR. I didn't know why, but I would rather draw and write and listen to music than rot my brain watching mindless TV shows. 

            I heard footsteps run up the stairs and pitter-patter down the hall. I listened wondering if they were heading to my room.

"Haaaaaaaaruuuuu!" a shrill voice called out. Yup, Momiji was looking for me. My door opened and he stuck his blonde head in the room. "Haru? You never came down for dinner are you alright?"

            "I'm fine Momiji, don't worry. I'm just not hungry."

            Momiji had a perplexed look on his face, "oh… ok… well anyway, Hari wants to see you. He didn't look very happy though."

            "I'll be down there in a moment," I replied with a sigh.

            "Ok!" Momiji left the room and pattered down the hall and back down the stairs.

            I put the half done drawing of a boy standing alone in a desolate field away and flicked my stereo off. "Great," I thought to myself. Whenever Hatori wanted to talk it seemed to be bad news. He most likely wanted to talk about something concerning Yuki. That or wanted to tell me Akito wanted to talk to me. I walked down the stairs and Hatori met me at the bottom.

            "Akito wants to talk to you," he said.

            I shook my head and barked out, "oh yay, more cheery news you deliver."

            Hatori frowned, "do you think I like having to tell everyone bad news? I don't."

            The look on Hatori's face was something I couldn't read, it held anger sadness and… helplessness? I felt slightly sorry I had snapped at him. Of course he didn't like doing this. Being Akito's henchmen of sorts must have been awful. His expression suddenly softened and he put a hand on my shoulder. He looked at me sternly, "Haru… If-," He paused, like he was trying to think of a way to word a difficult sentence. "If Akito tells you something that seems untrue, then don't believe it, no matter what the evidence." 

With this he walked away, and I saw his hand go to his face and rub the bridge of his nose. I had never thought Hatori to show he was stressed, but he seemed to be now. With Hatori acting like this, I was nervous. Hatori never was anything more than near emotionless. Him acting like this made butterflies with steel tipped wings fly around in my stomach. I cracked my knuckles and took a deep breath and walked down the cold corridor to Akito's room. I opened the door and walked in. Akito was lounging on the floor, not really doing anything. He looked up when I came in. 

"Ah Haru… please come here and sit down." He cooed.

I walked over and sat down cross legged about two feet from him. I refused to show fear by being reluctant. That's what he fed on after all; he played on your fears. It was simple, show no fear and he had no weapon. 

            Akito sat up and smiled at me, it was not a smile of warmth though, it was frigid, like Akito's soul. I waited for him to speak. Instead he sat there, watching me. I narrowed my eyes, "why did you want to see me?"

            Akito's expression hardened slightly. I knew he didn't like the tone I had, because I sounded in control. Akito's expression softened again. He reached his hand out and laid it upon my cheek.

"You know why I want to talk to you. I want to tell you about Yuki…" Akito gently caressed my face, and spoke softly in an almost seductive tone, "Haru…. why are you being so foolish… don't you see that rat is tricking you? He doesn't love you. He's hurting you. He's going to break your heart…"

            "You lie Akito" I said, nervous he was going to hurt me like he had done to Yuki, but I couldn't let him think I believed him. He would use it against me.

            He sneered, "Really? How do you know? The cow thought the rat was his friend as well. Thought he was getting a good deal. He learned the hard way. I'm just trying to save you that Haru. I don't want to see any of my family hurt."

            I stayed silent and glared, knowing full well that what I wanted to say would get me in trouble. Instead I held my temper, and looked defiantly into Akito's eyes. "No, I know because I can feel that it's not true."

            "Then," he started slowly, "why hasn't Yuki called you tonight Haru? He must have something better to do huh?"

            I glared, "maybe he was just busy, it doesn't mean anything. It's not like he doesn't care."

            Akito smiled softly, the fact that it was a genuine smiled worried me. "Actually…. The reason he hasn't called is because there's a girl staying at Shigure's house...  I think Yuki is preoccupied…"  

            "What? That's ridiculous, why would a girl be staying at their house? Besides what if she runs into them or something? She'll know the curse!" I stated haughtily.

            Akito smiled again, and my skin crawled. "Haru, she was living in a tent. Yuki and Shigure couldn't let her stay there could they? So they had her move into their house as a maid. I approved, couldn't let that…. _dear _girl live in a tent. She knows of the curse. She will stay silent. I am confident in that."

            I glared at him for a moment then snapped back a little too fast, "So what? So a girl is living with him, its not going to change anything. Yuki isn't going to betray or trick me. That's stupid; I have nothing to worry about."

            Akito smirked, "for being so sure you are protesting too much. You're unsure, this girl could take Yuki from you and you know it."

            I stood up, "you're wrong Akito, and I'm leaving now."

            "Alright Haru, but you shall see." Akito said, standing up. He walked to the porch where a bird landed upon his hand.

I wanted to pummel him, hurt him, tear him apart. Instead I turned and walked out of the room, murdering Akito in my head, over and over again.

~~~~~~Akito~~~~~~

I stood on my porch, the small white finch on my hand. I stood there watching the bird, in awe of its beauty and freedom. I wasn't jealous of the birds like I was of people. The bird lived its life freely, but it appreciated it. Humans lived and spit on their freedom, living and not appreciating it, only looking at the bad. For this they must be punished. To truly appreciate the good, one must be dealt the bad. This is what I did for my family. I wanted them to truly appreciate the good, for them to know how lucky they are. That they are living, not dead. Still… no matter what I do they only focus on the bad, and want me dead. They want their god dead, the god who cares and wants them to live to the fullest. I am spat on.

Haru walked out of the room and I smiled at the little bird on my finger. I never bothered to name it, it seemed wrong to place a name on such a free and graceful creature. Yuki and Haru were about to get a lesson that would teach them to appreciate the good… this lesson would stay with them forever. With a little luck it would be painful enough for them to know how to appreciate their lives, be birds, instead of a rat and lowly cow.

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Akito has something up his sleeve…. But only I know! For now anyway -_o Please r&r! ^_^


	6. In the end

"I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter"

~~~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~

            I walked to school, the autumn sun warm on my face, but the wind nipping at me. I was tired and rather grumpy. Sleep hadn't come very easy last night. I tossed and turned thinking of what Akito had said. I don't know why, just because a stupid girl got to live near Yuki when I didn't. It wasn't that big of a deal, who cares? Nothing was going to change at all. 

            I stopped walking for a moment and sighed. It was getting to me, I could lie to myself all I wanted and it wouldn't matter. I needed to talk to Yuki, and see this girl for myself. Akito was still wrong, I was just jealous. It wasn't fair some random stranger got to live with Yuki and I didn't. I couldn't change it though, so no use in complaining. I continued to walk, my head down and the wind whipping around me, a cold reminder that I walked alone. 

~~~~~~~Yuki ~~~~~~

            This new girl Tohru had been living with us for a couple of weeks now. It changed quite a few things around the house. For one thing the food got much better. For another that stupid cat came to live with us, but that wasn't due to Tohru of course. I wanted to send Shigure through the floorboards when I found out he allowed Kyou to live with us.  Kyou went and put a gash in that poor girl's forehead first thing. Stupid cat. It was strange, but even though he was around, the air felt lighter now. Tohru seemed to take our problems and minimize them. Of course I kept silent about Haru; it was unknown how even the sweetest person would react to that sort of thing. I tried to keep quiet about most things actually, I wasn't about to let her see me weak.

Haru and I still called each other almost every night, and met up after school. I hadn't had him come to the house with Tohru there yet, I was still too nervous. I wasn't ashamed, I just didn't feel like having someone who seemed to accept me start to repel me. It was strange now, because when I would talk of Tohru, Haru's tone got annoyed, or listless. Tonight was no exception.

"She's really nice… it's amazing she even acts nice to that stupid cat. It's kind of nice to have her around. That and she's a better cook than I ever could be," I told him with a laugh.

A flat voice came from the other end, "yeah that's nice."

I frowned and then sighed, "Haru… what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered, still deadpan.

"You're lying Hatsuharu Sohma and you know I can tell," I told him.

I heard his deep sigh from the other end, "no, everything is fine, I've gotta go." I heard someone call out Haru's name in the background, telling him not to hang up the phone. 

"Hatori wants to talk to you Yuki, hold on."

The phone clicked and thunked as Haru set it down. I heard Hatori's voice from a distance, "Haru could you step out for a moment?"

"Hello Yuki," Hatori said in his tone that he always used to tell me Akito needed to see me.

I sighed deeply, already knowing what was going to come from his mouth.

"Akito wants you to come to the main house tomorrow Yuki. I would advise coming," he stated.

I shut my eyes in disgruntlement, "yes I know, I will. At least I'll be able to see Haru."

"I'm afraid not, Akito is sending him out tomorrow, he doesn't know you are coming."

"Oh… never mind then. I'm going to bed now, goodnight." I hung up the phone not waiting for Hatori to respond. I went to bed, my heart distressed with fear of the day to come.

I walked to the main house the next day, trying to feed my confidence. I was terrified. I hadn't seen Akito since he had attacked me. He had scarred more than my back; my mind had still not recovered. I entered the house and made my way to that long ominous corridor. I headed down the corridor, deciding I could do this. It didn't matter what fate awaited me, I could get through it.

I reached his door and knocked. The airy voice of fear beckoned me in. I entered, feeling myself shake slightly, like so many times before. 

"Sit down Yuki, don't be nervous," Akito said tenderly. I obeyed his command like a whipped dog. He smiled at me, and I feared he could hear my heart beating. It wouldn't surprise me. It was beating hard enough to give me a headache.

"My dear Yuki…." Akito said quietly, caressing my cheek, "why did you argue with me… it will amount to nothing when it comes to the end…"

I narrowed my eyes, "the end?"

"Yes… you and Haru are over," his lip curled into a heartless smile.

My heart skipped a beat, the certainty he spoke with put a block of ice in my chest. "What do you mean?"

"You are going to end your relationship with Haru. Tonight. You will not tell him about this meeting. Make something up. You will also not tell any other member of the family or your little friend Tohru-kun. This is between you and me."

I gaped at him, he couldn't be serious. Just up and leave Haru? Insane, preposterous. I felt a bubble of fury rise in me, and spat out, "what if I refuse?"

His torrid glare sent razors to my mind, and I regretted snapping back so fast. "You will not refuse."

I felt my eyes glaze over with water, I couldn't refuse. I wouldn't survive if I refused, but how could I survive without Haru? How could I hurt him?

"You will not refuse, or tell him the true reason why…." Akito said nonchalantly, "or Haru may have to pay for you inadequate behavior."

I stood up and started to leave the room, when Akito's voice chimed out almost cheerfully, "goodnight Yuki, remember what I said."

~~~~Haru~~~~~

My thoughts were all over as I was returning from the ludicrous errand Hatori had sent me on. I hefted the bag on my shoulder, rolled my eyes and mumbled to myself, "birdseed… he sends me out for birdseed for Akito…."

My mind kept wandering to Yuki, and that girl Tohru. How much Yuki talked about her. How he praised and seemed to like every little thing about her. I would only admit to myself that it bothered me. Momiji had already met Tohru, when he came to my room ranting about how great she was, I had slammed the door in his face. I had also found out she had came to the main house. I had missed her. It bothered me that she had come to the house and no one told me. Part of me felt like I was a dark secret or something.

When I wandered into the house and set the bag of birdseed on the table I noticed the answering machine's new message light flickering. I pressed the button and heard Yuki's voice. The tone he had was mournful, it sounded though he had been crying, "Haru, come to the park as soon as you can. I will be on the bench near the pond, the one by the woods." The message made me freeze. Something was wrong. I ran back outside, and flew to the park as fast as my feet would carry me. 

I rounded the path that Yuki and I had walked so many times before, holding each others hands, laughing quietly at children feeding ducks or other such things. I slowed my pace, seeing Yuki ahead of me. He was sitting on the bench, his elbows resting upon his knees, his head buried in his hands. I walked over slowly in a daze, Yuki never acted like this. I walked over to him, my heart a trapped bird fluttering in my chest, "Yuki?.. What's wrong?"

He sat up quickly, as though I had startled him. His eyes were teary, and wet lines were drawn on his face. I stumbled over to him, sitting on the bench. I started to put my arm around him when he stood up and pulled away from me. I gazed at him stunned, "Yuki?"

He turned his back to me and hugged his elbows, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I was too surprised from his recoil to move to him again.

"Haru… we have to…" his voice cracked slightly and he choked, "we're done, we can't be together anymore."

I just gaped at him for a moment, certain I had heard him wrong, or had stumbled into a nightmare. When it sunk in that this was really happening, a ton of bricks hit me and I stood up, my mind was in shock. "What?! Why! What did I do?!" I felt my voice start to go frantic, and I struggled to regain my calm. Yuki had his back to me and he was hugging his elbows tighter. "No Haru it isn't you it's me. I'm so sorry… I didn't want to hurt you."

I went up to him and turned him around, staring him in the face, my hand on his shoulders "Then why the hell are you doing this?! Give me a damn reason!"

Tears slid down Yuki's face, "I can't I'm sorry Haru, I'm sorry, I..."

"Tohru…" I let go of him and took a few steps back, "I KNEW IT! I knew this would happen."

It was true; all those things I had been thinking were true. I had been trying so hard to convince myself I was overreacting. That I was being childish. I had been right. Good god, the rat had made a fool of me.

"DAMN YOU YUKI, HOW COULD YOU!" I screamed at him, and turned and ran aimlessly, not knowing my destination, just knowing it had to be away from that spot. I heard Yuki call out after me, "No Haru, that's not it!"

I glanced back. Yuki was standing there, staring at me with tears going down his face. I felt a pang ordering me to go back, an old habit. Instead I ran. Snow started to fall around me. Snow; it was Yuki. It was his cold soul on me. He had tricked me, he was nothing but a stinking frigid rat, worthy of his name.* 

I continued to run till I came to a dead end alley. I nearly ran into the wall but stopped myself just in time. My chest heaved, my throat on fire, my eyes stinging. "How could he… how could he do this to me" I thought to myself. I replayed the words in my head he had ever said to me. "Haru, I love you." "Haru we'll always be together." "Haru you are not stupid." He had lied to me, deceived me. I punched at the wall till my knuckles were bloody, and then sunk to the ground, exhausted. The one I loved most had been tricking me. My plans of being with him forever dashed in an instant. It was too much, I couldn't deal with this. Something glinted on the dingy ground and I grabbed it. I raised the sharp glass shard in my hand to my neck, and looked to the sky. I would be deceived no more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Yuki literally means "snow" in Japanese.

*sniff…* I feel bad now… r&r don't worry this is not the end!… That'd be lame.


	7. Blackheart

~~~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~

I met Haru in the park shortly after my meeting with Akito. With every syllable I uttered to my precious love, a piece of my heart died. The look he gave me nearly killed me. When he screamed at me, saying I had left him for Tohru, I wanted grab him and say no, and erase this moment from ever happening. Instead I watched him run off, and my legs felt about ready to give out. Tears streamed down my face freely. I hated crying, but nothing could stop this. The amount of sorrow that had built up inside me tore me up, shredding everything down to my soul. I hated Akito for this, he would pay. I had hurt Haru… I had hurt him badly, I could care less about the pain in me, but I knew I had hurt him so badly. I hurt him to protect him, but had I really done anything? I was damned if I did damned if I didn't. 

It was getting dark, so I pulled myself together slightly and started to stumble home. When I walked in the door, Shigure hadn't been there to greet me like normal. Part of me thought he had known this was coming and decided to leave me alone, knowing he would not be welcome. Kyou was sitting at the table, but from the look on my face he didn't say anything. That was good for his sake, because had he tried to fight me now I would've been merciless, and taken the wrath of a demon out on him. Tohru ran into the room as I was halfway across it, heading to my own room.

"Sohma-kun? Is everything ok?" she asked in her sweet tone, and part of me despised her living here. Only a tiny part, because it made me feel a little better to hear her voice ask, ever caring, how I was.

I nodded, not wanting to speak, knowing my voice might sound funny. I headed up the stairs and shut the door to my room, and my eyes drifted to my side table. A little cow and rat sat there. It was too much for me. I sunk to my knees and started sobbing. I would never see Haru again. He certainly hated me. I couldn't blame him. Damn Akito, I would get him for this, for doing this to Haru and me. I stood up and carefully carried the statue to my dresser, and wrapped it in a sock. I then put this sock under many others, and crawled over to my bed. There I lay, soaking my pillow with regret and pain.

~~~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~~~

I sat there staring to the cold sky, the glass shard to my throat, the snow frosting me. I lowered my hand, barely aware I also dropped the glass.

"No," I whispered to myself in a splintered voice, "no… I shouldn't die."

My head raced with thoughts. How could he, how could Yuki do this, he cared for me, he told me that. He told me I wasn't stupid but he made a fool of me. How could he. It was for that girl Tohru, some common nobody who understood nothing of a curse who haunted a boy. A boy 'blessed' with the spirit of the rat, the special rat. She knew nothing. Nothing of the curse and nothing of the devil that ruled us. How could Yuki possibly go to her? I loved him, I always had, not that little tramp. 

I narrowed my eyes, "she's tricked him, it's her fault." I knew this, it wasn't Yuki. Yuki had trusted her too easily. That was unlike him. She has lied to him, somehow… deceived him. She would pay. I stood up and walked home.

I crossed into my room in a daze and sat down at my desk, and pulled out my sketchbook. The half done drawing of the boy standing in a field was there. That boy was me now, and I felt like finishing that drawing. I heard a creak and whipped around, wondering who dared spy on me at a time like this. The door was open a crack, I stormed over whipping the door open ready to tear the intruder apart, I glanced down the hall, and no one was there. I shut the door shaking my head.

 "Calm down Haru…" I whispered to myself. Everything was going to be ok. I was going to take care of it all. I sat back down, scribbling out figures on my paper, determined to finish my drawing now. I reached over and flicked on my music again, and went back to sketching, thinking to myself the whole time, "little bitch…. Taking my Yuki, she's going to be sorry and it's all going to be alright."

I finished my drawing and stared at it. I started to laugh at the drawing, I laughed hard. It was all going to be ok, I would make it all good alright. I held up the drawing, the boy that once stood alone now had another boy next to him. They were embracing happily. Off to the right lay a girl, dead and bloodied. I grinned, "It's all gonna be alright..." I tucked the drawing into my desk and flicked off my stereo. I walked over to my bed, still laughing slightly. There I collapsed, and everything went black.

~~~~~Akito~~~~~

I watched Haru walk into the house. With how calm he was acting, and how silently he went to his room, I was concerned my precious little rat hadn't done his job. He would be very sorry if that was the case. I decided I would have to go confirm my suspicions, acting on a thought could be disastrous. After all, I was the leader of the Sohmas, a flawless performance was best. I thought about calling Hatori, telling him to bring Haru to me, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun. Haru was able to usually pull himself together before me. I wanted to see him broken. I wandered down to his room after I heard the door slam shut. He had music playing very loudly. I cringed slightly at the garbage he was listening to, some idiot screaming at the top of his lungs to heavy guitar. I cracked the door slightly, the music was so loud there was no way he'd hear me.

"And I will never forget how you hurt me 

And all the pain you caused 

Left my mind blank and my soul was lost 

And now the thoughts are in my head and drifting side to side

 You know I'm gonna get you cause there is nowhere to hide

 Headlines will read on the night she died!

Trust me

I will get your ass back

If it kills me

For the rest of your life you will feel me

I'm gonna make you remember that you

Hurt me

You fuckin hurt me!"

            I narrowed my eyes, considering Haru was listening to this rubbish, he was angry about something. He was scribbling furiously on something, most likely that childish sketchbook he draws in. He stopped scribbling, and I couldn't believe what I heard. Laughter. That stupid cow was laughing. His laugh was not the usually lighthearted chuckle that so sickened me. It was dark, demonic even. The laugh of a madman. I felt a bit of a chill hit my spine. I shook my head and cursed myself, I was Akito; I wouldn't let one of my pets scare me.

            Haru held a drawing in the air. I widened my eyes. Apparently Yuki had told him. This wasn't the reaction I had expected. I smiled, and walked away. No, not the reaction I had expected at all. This was much better. 

~~~~~Haru~~~~~~

I kept to myself and stayed in my room the next day. My head pounded and my stomach was queasy. I still felt as though I was caught in a nightmare and that I would wake up any moment. It was too unreal. I kept thinking how Yuki would show up, ready to hug me and say get well soon as he always had. Then a stab in the heart would remind me that that was over. Tohru had changed that. When ever the thought of her came into my mind, my anger level shot through the roof, I had lost it once and went black on my side table, which was now in pieces on the floor. The only time I got a release from thinking about the pain was when I slept. 

I needed to go see Yuki, and this girl Tohru. I needed an excuse. I didn't want that girl to know I needed more info on her and was pretty much showing up to spy. Yuki would know better no matter what, he was much too smart to be tricked by any excuse I could come up with. 

I stared at the floor, Yuki and Kyou had skipped the New Year's party. Kyou and I usually challenged each other at the party. I could use that as an excuse. It was really lame, but it could pass to Tohru and probably Kyou. Yuki would see through it like a window, but I wasn't out to trick him.

I stood up and walked downstairs. I pulled my coat on, went to grab my bike, and was off to find out just who the hell that girl was.

~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~

            Today we had a marathon run at school. I felt terrible and would rather not go but that stupid cat would not shut up about having his chance to beat me. If I didn't go I would never hear the end of it. Tohru was overly concerned as usual. Considering how my heart ached from the events with Haru, it was good to know someone cared. Still, I would've been perfectly happy to go back to before, when he and I would walk together in the park, holding each others hands and how we used to-…

            I shook my head, my eyes started to tear up. I was the prince of Kaibara high school. Not that I cared for the title, but if I cried not only would I seem weak, but the whole school would know. I'd rather not be known as crybaby Yuki. I was strong, and I did not cry. Not even when my heart and soul had died.

            Tohru wandered up to me, asking how I felt, saying maybe I shouldn't run. I convinced her I would be fine, and that I'd never hear the end of it from the 'baka neko' if I refused to run. Kyou was hissing and spitting a little ways away from us. I ignored him completely. The teacher called for all the female runners to go to the starting line, and then later the boys. As the gun sounded I took off at top speed, Kyou thundering behind me. I just wanted to get the stupid run over with. I barely cared if I beat Kyou. The only reason I did was I didn't feel like listening how he beat me, something he would wear out for months. We ran and ran, bursting far ahead of anyone else, the cat yelling random things about he'd beat me. I told him to shut up. 

            We continued to run and Kyou pulled ahead of me. 

"Damn it…" I muttered to myself. Then I saw Kyou wipe out and fall flat on his face. I stopped running and my eyes grew wide. _Haru… why on god's green earth are you here?! _Rushed through my head. I realized how much I wanted to run to him ask him why he was here, not in school, if everything was alright. I remembered I couldn't let anyone know what had happened, for Haru's sake as well as mine. If Tohru found out, Akito would find out she knew, and he'd hurt Haru. Akito always was good for his word, that was one thing you could credit him for.

            Kyou started to scream about why Haru tripped him, he had just managed to pull in front of me. They chattered back and forth, my mind barely comprehending as it was in a frenzy.

_ Why is he here, what the hell does he think he's doing, has he come to get me. Wow he looks really calm considering. Is he freaking out like me? No he's not Haru doesn't freak out he…_

_            I looked at Haru, I had to act normal, despite my head felt like exploding. "Haru what about your school?"_

He looked away from me and up to the sky, "I was wandering, and before I knew it I was on a path I didn't know. It took me three days to get here."

            There was a tiny hint of sarcasm in his voice, I doubt the others even picked it up, "Just be honest and say you got lost."

            We decided it would be best to talk elsewhere. I introduced Tohru and Haru, and couldn't help but notice Haru was staring at her. I remembered then what Haru had said on that night in the park. _"Tohru… I KNEW IT! I knew this would happen."  Of course…. He thought this was all Tohru's fault. My insides froze as Haru bowed to her, this new realization upon me. That bow was most certainly an act of sarcasm, despise was the only emotion he could possibly hold for her. Now I just had to decipher what he planned on doing now that he was here._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry that chapter sucked so bad, poor Haru has lost his mind it seems. I promise to speed up updates from now on. Please review ^^ 

The song Haru was listening to was Blackheart by V-Mob. Lyrics belong to them (duh)


	8. Black and White

_"Losing your mind Losing your mind  
It's blurring It's fading  
Your soul's on fire, It's black and white."_

~~~~Haru~~~~

Once again my innate sense of direction got me lost in the labyrinth of streets. I laid down in the grass by a road, sorting out my thoughts for a moment. I shut my eyes to think when someone behind me yelled out, "Are you alright?!"

I turned my head around to see a girl around Yuki's age coming towards me, her face took a look of shock. "I-I-I I'm sorry, because of your white hair I thought you were an old person and I I I-" She babbled on. I was slightly annoyed, I didn't look old! Idiot. I didn't say anything though, you never knew who could be helpful, and I didn't want to offend her.

"Do you know where the Sohma house is?" I asked.

Her face lit up a little bit, "are you a Sohma?"

"Uh, yeah, do you know where it is?" I asked again, no patience to discuss who I was with some stupid girl.

"Yes! Pleased to meet you I'm-"

I tuned her out, the sound of Kyou's voice and thundering feet were headed this way. I walked to the other side of the road and tied a rope, dragging it across the road. I hoped I snagged Kyou; I didn't want to hurt Yuki. Kyou ran by and I tripped him. The girl behind me shouted out Kyou's name. I wondered for a moment how she knew Kyou. I figured she must have been a classmate.

Kyou stood up screaming and howling about how he had just managed to get ahead of Yuki. Yuki himself strolled up, the first thing he noticed was that girl. He looked to her and asked calmly, "Tohru-san? What are you doing here?"

I blinked; that girl was Tohru... Yuki left me for that? Ouch. I felt my blood boil, but calmed down.

Yuki noticed me and stared. I was the last thing he expected to see today obviously. He asked why I wasn't at school. Part of me wanted to be a smart ass and say because I am here. Instead I came up with some story about getting lost. I was barely aware of what I was doing, my head was clouded from being near Yuki and seeing this girl Tohru.

Yuki introduced us and I bowed, the movement loaded with mockery. I know knew who my opponent was. Yuki suggested we find another place to talk, so we made our way under the bridge. Kyou asked the million dollar question then.

"Haru why are you here?"

I knew my lines, I had rehearsed this in my head repeatedly, "To fight."

Kyou's face looked confused, "What?"

"I was going to challenge you at new years but you skipped remember?" I said, glancing at Yuki, his face proved he didn't believe all this.

Kyou protested, it was starting to piss me off, I could tell he wasn't buying this either. Great, any minute now he'd spill the beans and my whole plan would be shot to hell. I glanced back to Yuki, who kept whispering things to Tohru. I felt the cold burning of rage coming over me. I couldn't allow my plan to go wrong. I needed Kyou to fight me, make this look like a normal occurrence.

Yuki shouted out a warning to Kyou, telling him to do as I said. He didn't believe that I came to fight him, but like always, Yuki could sense my distress. Kyou yelled out that he wasn't going to fight, and that was the end of it. I snapped.

~~~~~Yuki~~~~

I shouted a warning to Kyou, knowing Haru was getting annoyed, and I could read it in his eyes. They gained that frantic look, the look that came before he went black. Of course that idiotic cat didn't listen, and Haru went black. He slammed into Kyou, and the brawl began. 

Tohru and I watched them, and I kept making things up to answer her questions. I knew no better than her why Haru came to pick a fight. My guess was he came to see me, or Tohru. I was nervous, my cold was getting worse from standing out here. I wanted to tell Kyou and Haru to stop, but Haru was now black, and the less that half noticed me, the better. I hated when Haru acted like this, I always tried to act kind, he couldn't help it. 

I remembered back to a time he had gotten angry and had run into me. He had come home, stomping and slamming things around, cursing.

"God damn teacher, dare telling me I need to dye my hair back to its original color, not look like a punk. Saying all that while that little bitch girl made fun of me for writing Yuki's name on my hand. I'LL SHOW HER!" Haru screamed, kicking a chair over. I quietly headed up the stairwell, heading to my room to change out of my school uniform. I hoped he would cool off by the time he came upstairs. It didn't happen.

Haru walked into the room, I shirtless, hunting for a clean top to wear. Haru walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me a little too tightly. 

"Eh… Yuki…" he murmured while nuzzling my shoulder, "why are people so stupid… sometimes I'd like to kill them all…"

I gulped, not sure of what to say. I felt Haru reach up and stroke my chest. I wanted to pull away, but couldn't. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or aggravate him more.

"Yuki… how about we forget other people and have some fun… huh?" Haru asked, nibbling at my neck. 

I tensed, and tried to pull away. Haru bit down hard in response. I yelped, "HARU OW!"

I tried to pull away but Haru held me tight, pinning my arms to my side. "What Yuki? You don't like me? Why not…"  

I sighed, "Haru you know that's not it, I just… I just…."

He pushed me onto the bed and laid next to me, "prove it Yuki," He kissed me with brute force. I felt his hands trail down my stomach and to my pant zipper. No way in hell, I could take a lot from black Haru, but not this. I shoved him off and glared at him. He didn't expect that and fell back, smacking into the wall.

"Get away from me, you sick bastard." I stood up to leave when I noticed the look in his eyes. Black Haru was gone. He blinked and looked confused for a minute then he gasped, "Yuki… I-I-…. Gomen… I…" He jumped up and ran out of the room.

"Haru wait!" I called after him, but he was gone. I sat on my bed and sighed, it wasn't his fault but I couldn't have let him done that.

This memory came to my head, so I didn't confront Haru, it was best to just let him fight with Kyou then. I coughed again, my asthma was getting really bad, and I couldn't really breathe. My legs started to lock up, and I sunk to the ground. Haru and Kyou ran over. I heard Haru tell Kyou to call the main house. "NO" my mind shouted and threw up a red light; Akito might make me move back into the main house if he thought I would get sick. I grabbed Haru's ankle and stared up to him, sure my eyes were full of fear. I could care less what happened as long as I could breathe again. I wanted Haru to take care of me, because I knew he could. After that thought, I was down and out.

I awoke with a start. Haru and Tohru were standing over me, looking concerned. I jolted up, "what happened?"

Tohru smiled at me, "Haru-san turned into a cow and carried you."

I blinked and looked at Haru, who stared back at me, almost defiantly. 

"Um, thanks Haru."

He continued his intense stare, "No problem, I wanted to show how much I like Yuki, especially to Tohru-kun"

"Of all things, why would you say that?" I asked, hoping my voice wasn't as frantic as I felt.

"Because it's true."

Haru and I kept our eyes in a deadlock. My mind spun, how much had he told her? What if Akito found out Tohru knew, he'd hurt Haru. It'd be my fault. 

"It was a wonderful story," Tohru said, breaking the silence, "Yuki-kun"

Wonderful story? She couldn't have known of a breakup if it was a wonderful story. I felt sick, Akito's wrath was going to come to Haru, and me. It was my fault. Before I knew what had happened, I was in the air, my little arms flailing about. I had turned into a mouse from the pressure of everything. 

Around 15 minutes passed and I still had not returned to my human form. Tohru left the room to avoid any embarrassing incidents, but Haru remained. I was in agony, not out of fear of Haru seeing me indecent, just him seeing me and having to face him. He didn't talk to me yet. I supposed he was waiting for me to turn back to a human. Just as I was pondering this thought, a poof occurred and I was sitting on my bed exposed. Haru looked up at the ceiling as I pulled my pants on. 

"I didn't tell her about us Yuki…. I just told her the story of that day by the window…" Haru said quietly, still looking at the ceiling, a strange look upon his face. 

I nodded, fighting the urge to vomit, the words that came from my mouth were as bitter as a winter day, "good. I would appreciate if it remained that way."

The boy I loved more than anything stared at me like he had been slapped. I walked out of the room and to the bathroom where I threw up.

~~~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~~

Yuki walked out of the room, I could only stand there in shock. I slowly stumbled out of the room and downstairs. I started to walk home. I was numb, Tohru had a tighter grip on Yuki than I had thought. I wandered around, trying to find my way home. I got hopelessly lost, and sat down on the sidewalk. It was getting dark and cold, and no one was around. I sat there, my mind still deadened. Tohru was going to pay. She was stupid, and I could handle her easy. Yuki would be mine in no time. I just had to wait and plan this out carefully, and wait for the right opportunity.

A car horn honked and I looked up. The car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down revealing Hatori's face.

"Haru get in the car," he said.

I stood up and climbed into the front passenger seat, my face still emotionless. Hatori picked up something was wrong, and without asking what was wrong or looking at me he murmured, "thing's aren't always what you think."

I stayed silent, and stared at the dashboard, having no idea what he meant.

"Don't blame Tohru. This isn't her doing. You know that deep down Haru."

I glared at him, I saw what this was about now. "No I don't, you just are planning on defending her because she's the little miracle wonder angel. I see through that pompous act of fake modesty. You're all blinded."

Hatori stared out onto the road, "alright Hatsuharu… believe what you will."

We reached the Sohma house and I stormed off to my room. I lay on my bed and sleep. Yuki haunts my dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think near a year had passed since I met Tohru. I had hung out with them a few times during then, to gain trust and not be a stranger. I had acted civil, even friendly at times. Yuki was wary when I was around, he always got annoyed if I got too close to him. I always noticed a sad look in his eyes. I thought to myself, _No worries Yuki sweet love of mine, I will cure you of the disease that plagues you. The disease called Tohru._ I had played it in my head many times how I would do everything. How it would all work in the end. It was flawless.

I sat in my desk chair, reading a book when I heard Momiji and Kisa talking in the hall.

"Kyou transformed into his true form in front of Tohru! And she didn't care isn't that great? She told him she loves him and wants to be with him. He is very happy, he even let her hug him!" Momiji's voice told Kisa enthusiastically.

Kisa's voice responded so quietly I had to strain to hear her, "that's good… but…. What about Yuki-kun? Doesn't he like onee-chan too?"

Momiji's voice took a somber tone, "Hai… he does… I heard Shigure telling Hari that Yuki's been very distraught lately, most likely due to Tohru picking Kyou over him…."

"Poor Yuki…" Kisa said gently.

I grinned. My opportunity had come. I pulled my coat on and walked out of my room. Kisa and Momiji looked up at me, "Hello Haru…" Their voices trailed off while looking at me. I was down the hall when I heard Momiji whisper, "He had a funny look on his face…"

"I know… it scares me." Kisa responded.

I ignored the comments and walked downstairs, heading for Shigure's abode.  I hummed as I walked to the house, I hadn't even lost my way yet. It was simple. Convince Tohru to let Yuki go. Threaten her if need be. I would rid Yuki of that parasite it was all perfect.

I somehow made it to Shigure's house without getting lost. I knocked on the door. When no one answered I let myself in. The house was deserted and looked like a wasteland. Wind tore around the house outside, creating a hellish moaning. I walked upstairs, it appeared no one was home. 

"Kuso…" I muttered to myself, she had to be home. I walked into her room, the Pepto-Bismol pink of her bed making me feel nauseous. I glanced around, noticed a small diary lay open on the desk, so I walked over to read it. 

**_"Kyou-kun turned into a monster the other day. It was scary, but I still saw him in those freaky purple eyes. I truly love him, not like the rat Yuki. I'm starting to rather detest him. He's constantly mean to Kyou, who already is a misfit. Yuki doesn't know what its like to not fit in, he's always been the special popular rat."_**

****

I stared at the words on the page, my anger mounting, how dare she even think for one moment she knew what it was like to live in the Sohma's world.

**_"I know he likes me. Maybe I led him on a little. Oh well, I think he needs to feel a bit of rejection. I'd bet anything it's a foreign concept to him. I can tell he was hurt about the things I told Kyou. I suppose after being so close with him he expected me to want to be with him. Truth is I rather dislike him, the more I spend time with him the more I realize what a spoiled angsty brat he is."_**

****

I felt that cold rage creep over again. Stupid bitch, how could she say that about Yuki after taking him from me? I heard a creak and whipped around. Tohru stood there, looking shocked.

"Hatsuharu-san? What are you doing here?" she asked. Her eyes glanced over and noticed her diary was open. Her eyes widened slightly and she walked over and shut it. "Heh, silly little book, my dumb rantings are of no interest right?"

I walked over and shut her door, and leaned against it. "Silly girl…."

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Cliff hanger dun dun dun, next chapter should come out quickly, since my ideas have brewed. Sorry for tohru's ooc meanness…. I needed something to push haru over the edge. Review please!


	9. Bloody Valentine

_"Oh my love, please don't cry. I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life."_

~~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~ 

I smirked at the look Tohru gave me. It was a look of puzzlement.

"Excuse me?" she asked full of false cheer, "are you feeling alright Haru-san? You are acting strange."

I walked towards her, smiling, "I've never been better… So Tohru, you really believe Yuki is that much of a bastard and a brat huh?" 

She took a step back, "N-no I just, you misunderstand, I just-"  
            I placed two fingers over her repulsive lips, "shut the hell up." I heard her whimper and I grinned. "Scared? Good… you don't know the pains you've caused… and then you dare to think that crap about Yuki… who the hell do you think you are?"

I felt her try and pull towards the door but I thrust her back, "No, you're not going anywhere, I'm not done with you bitch…"

I saw terror swimming in her eyes, and my insides warmed. I heard deep down inside me, a voice screaming hysterically for me to stop before I did something wrong, but I ignored it. Stop? Why the hell should I, she was a stupid whore who took Yuki from me. And now she'd pay. I reached into my pocket and smiled, I had what I needed, and this victory would be sweet. Sweet with tainted blood if nothing else. Tohru made another break for the door. 

I slammed her back and slapped her hard. "I SAID YOU AREN'T GOING A GOD DAMN PLACE!"

She whimpered and sat down. I leered at her, "good…" 

I slowly walked behind her, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a piece of metal wire. I wrapped each end around my hands then placed it tightly to Tohru's neck. The wind continued to moan outside, adding to the noise in my head.

"You think its fun to fuck with others lives?... Let me fuck with you. Yuki never was yours." the words were frigid enough to freeze in the air.

She whimpered again, a pitiful sound, "Haru... I didn't really think that about Yuki, and I never wanted him to be mine, don't hurt me please!" Tears started to flow down her face.

I glared and gave a quick jerk on the wire. She gasped as it cut shallowly into her neck and dashed back out. "LIAR! You took him! You took him from me! And then you took Kyou over him, you hurt him! God damn you!" I shouted this out and kicked her in the small of her back. "You shit faced liar!"

She cried out in pain, "Hatsuharu, no that's not…"

I tightened the wire and she gagged, I felt a little bit of heat trickle over my hands. Blood. I whispered, "you're done…. And Yuki is mine."

I wrenched the wire back fiercely, a gurgling choke was heard, and the wet warmth flowed over my hands. Her chest rose and fell a few times, then stopped, her eyes staring forever blankly. I grinned, Yuki would be mine again. I pulled my hands away, her body slumped to the floor. I stood there for a moment, somewhere inside, a horrendous screaming was getting louder. The door behind me opened then, and my love walked in.

~~~~Yuki~~~~

I had gone outside on a walk giving my mind a chance to ponder the things Tohru had said to Kyou. It didn't bother me that much, its not like I love Tohru like everyone thinks I do. I thought she was a wonderful friend, and a nice person, but my heart belonged to Haru, even if he couldn't have it. I just hoped she hadn't made a mistake by being with that stupid cat.

I wandered back to the house, Kyou and Shigure had both gone out as well. I shut the door behind me, near slamming it with how hard the wind was blowing. I walked inside, calling out Tohru's name. I heard nothing, and then a dull thump from upstairs. I sighed, she must have dropped something. I walked up the stairs to her room, intending to help. There stood Haru. I opened my mouth to ask him why he was here, and in Tohru's room no less, when I took in the whole scene.

Blood dripped from Haru's hands. Crimson pooled around Tohru, and more scarlet liquid trickled out of a ragged slash from the girl's throat. Haru was staring at his hands, rather blankly. I stepped back, my stomach lurching_. "No, he hadn't, not my Haru," my mind yelped. My Haru couldn't have harmed a fly much less a girl. A girl he believed had taken me away…. The girl that made my Haru, wait that wasn't right, he wasn't my Haru anymore, and he thought it was Tohru's fault. _

Tohru, that sweet girl, had never hurt anyone. Haru, too, had never hurt anyone till now, yet he had been dealt terrible anguish. But he had killed her… he had killed her, how could he have killed her.

"How could you?" I whispered, barely aware I was speaking out loud. I wasn't even sure who I spoke to. Was it to Haru for killing her; or me, for causing it all? 

Haru looked at his hands, then glanced to the body. I felt anger surge through me. Anger that I had been so stupid, anger that Akito had torn us, anger that Haru had been so idiotic to kill my friend. 

"How could you?! You bastard!" I screamed at him. I felt cold; my head was a throbbing drum.

Haru looked up at me, the callous look in his eyes melted, and understanding set in. He clapped his bloodied hand to his mouth. He stared at Tohru's corpse, shock on his face. He let out a heavy sob, turned away from her, and vomited. He stood up, fell, and them managed to scoot himself to a wall. I felt like vomiting myself, and a crimson stained Haru panicking wasn't helping at all. My rage had left, only guilt and heartache remained. I pulled myself out of the room, and sat in the hall. I noticed there were tear streaks painting my face, and I lowered my head, resting it on my knee.

Haru's hitched cries came from the other room, he sounded like he was hyperventilating. I unsteadily stood up, and walked into the room, turning my head from the carnage, looking only at Haru, trying to ignore the proof of the butchery on him. He was sitting, his arms in a vice grip around his knees. His frightened face was staring at his twisted deed. I kneeled next to him, and softly placed a hand on his shoulder

"Haru…." I whispered softly. My voice and body threatening to collapse, "come on Haru, let's get out of here, get you cleaned up."

He stared at me, his eyes showing chaos shooting about his mind like marbles that had been scattered onto the floor. He latched onto me and continued sobbing. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to soothe his hysteria. Part of me wanted to recoil, this boy had just killed someone. I also noticed Tohru's blood now stained my shirt. My stomach churned. Deep down though, a tiny part of me was glad, Haru was finally back to me. This time I wouldn't let anyone hurt him again, not even Akito. I gave myself a mental slap for being audacious enough to think of such a thing at this moment. I blinked, cleared my mind and refocused on what was going on now.

"Shhh… it's going to be ok. I won't let anyone hurt you." I whispered.

He belted out a fresh round of loud choked sobs, "n-n-nooo, I-I-I killed her."

My stomach lurched again, but I continued to hold onto him, "we'll figure this out..."

I looked to the door, planning to get him out of the room. There stood Shigure and Kyou, their faces twisted in appalled astonishment.

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Don't kill me for the incredible shortness of the chapter! ('Twas short, but to the point.)  Thanks for reading and reviewing is appreciated. Last few chapters are coming soon. 


	10. Lip Gloss and Black

_"After all these images of pain, have cut right thru you,  
I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone..."_

~~~~~~Shigure~~~~~

I walked upstairs, ready to tease Yuki for being alone with Tohru in her room. For whatever reason, Kyou was following me. He said it was because he had to ask them a question. I prodded him for more, and he exploded into a fit of "none your business!" and "stupid dog!". I giggled, knowing full well he just wanted to make sure Yuki hadn't honed in on his woman. I poked my head in the door way to Tohru's room, and nearly fell over. I felt Kyou bump into me, "what're you doing yo-" he cut off.

The first thing I saw was a vivid lake of burgundy, and the body in it. Haru was clinging to Yuki and weeping uncontrollably.

I speculated Haru would come to think Tohru tore him and Yuki apart.

I presumed he'd be angry.

I prayed this wouldn't happen.

It happened, and I knew why, because it had happened before.

I knew, and no one knew I remembered.

~~~~~~Kyou~~~~~

That rat and cow had killed her. Yuki and Haru did it. Out of spite to make me miserable? Would he go that far? No, it was pure jealousy. Yuki murdered Tohru out of jealousy. Haru had probably been tricked into helping. After all, the idiot would do anything for Yuki.

I had clapped my hand over my mouth and staggered back at first, now I just wanted to tear them apart. I flew at them, not really sure who I was going to get, I just wanted to hurt them both. They hurt the person who understood me, the first to care, probably the only.

I shot into the room, screaming "you bastard!"

My fist smashed into Yuki's face, the only solid punch I had ever laid upon his perfectly flawed face. He fell back, and stared up at me. I saw it in his haunted eyes then, he hadn't killed Tohru. I turned my head to Haru, who's looked mortified and disbelieving. Maybe I misjudged… maybe they too had come to the scene. My knees went out then, and I felt tears well, no one had seen me cry ever, and I wasn't about to start now. I bolted to the roof.

~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~

When Kyou bolted I knew he believed Haru had done it. I just prayed he hadn't run to the police. I looked to Shigure, his face painted in grief, his shock had passed too quickly I thought. I hoped for him to just tell me what to do, not make me ask, but it appeared that wasn't going to happen.

I tried to speak, and my voice failed. The second time I managed to shakily croak out Shigure's name. He looked up at me and read my emotions.

"Yuki… get Haru out of here and cleaned up. You too," was all he said. I needed to know what was going to happen, would Haru be locked up? Killed? Would they tell Akito? "Of course they would" I thought, and that terrified me more than the police. The law was humane.

I stood up, my face aching a little from the punch, an inevitable bruise would form. I gently tugged on Haru's sleeve, and when he didn't stand, I wrapped my arm around him, and pulled him up. He stood unsteadily, leaning on me. He no longer cried, just stared blankly. It made my skin crawl and chilled me to the soul to see his face like that. He normally looked unemotional, but a strong look had always been there. Now he just looked dead.

"Come on Haru… let's get out of here and clean up," the words were sickeningly normal, like we had been outside playing a game and had become grimy. 

Haru simply nodded and let me lead him out of the room. I hadn't notice but Shigure had pulled a sheet off the bed and was covering the bloody mess behind us. I walked Haru into the bathroom; he sat himself on the closed toilet. I left to Kyou's room, as not a stitch of clothes that I owned would fit Haru. I returned and set the clothes down for him, then disappeared to my room, to dispose of the shirt I could never bring myself to wear ever again.

I caught my face in a mirror, and I automatically thought "stupid cat" when I noticed a bit of my face turning color. I noticed my eyes were wet and red. Tohru was dead, but I was more concerned with Haru. I was terrified to lose him again. This had happened because I lost him. I would fight to whatever end to keep him now, I wouldn't let anyone tear us apart now. I would run away with him to the ends of the earth if need be.

I moved myself back to the bathroom and Haru was just standing there. He had managed to change his pants, but the bloody shirt remained. His eyes masked in his right hand. I knew he wasn't functioning right now, and I couldn't blame him.

"Haru, we need to clean you up ok? We probably are going to have to go see some people and you don't want to have…." I paused, not wanting to use any word to trigger right now, "you don't want to look like that."

He nodded and pulled his shirt off, chucking it in the garbage. His eyes looked around, then to me, "got a washcloth?"

I reached under the sink pulling one out, wet it and handed it to him. He sat down on the edge of the tub and scrubbed at himself, then stopped. "Yuki…. I'm sorry… I know that's worthless now, but I am. I deserve to die." 

My heart skipped a beat. I sat next to him, and hugged him tight, "no… this isn't your fault. I was stupid to leave you."

I stopped myself last minute from mentioning it hadn't even been for Tohru, but to add insult to injury by telling him that? Unpleasant image.

Shigure poked his head into the room. He looked at the floor and spoke in a tone contrary to his normal light attitude. "Boys, I called Hatori. He's coming to... to clean up, and then take you to talk to Akito." 

"Akito? No," I whispered out loud to myself. I jumped up and tore out of the bathroom nearly tripping, my legs feeling weak. I ran in front of Shigure and grabbed the front of his robes.

"Akito?! Are you insane? He'll kill Haru!" I yelped, frantic to protect.

Shigure glared at me and jerked his head to the bathroom, and said in a hushed voice, "shush. You don't want Haru hearing that. He must go, you know this. I won't let him go in alone."

"But you're loyal to Akito, you've never intervened with him," my defiance to Shigure's authority rose.

"You'd be amazed Yuki-kun, of the things you don't know. And I beg your pardon but that visit between Akito and Tohru didn't I…." he trailed off, shutting his eyes briefly then looking back at me. He clapped his hands on my shoulders, "I promise nothing will happen to Haru, in fact, you will go in there with him. I know it's hard for you, but you and Haru will get through this."

I stared up at him, and was thankful. I trusted him, part of me wanted to collapse and cry, let my older, almost father-like cousin take care of me. No time for that though, I had to take care of Haru. I nodded, and pulled away, heading back to the bathroom to aid the one most in need. 

~~~~~~Haru~~~~~

I scrubbed at myself, barely aware of what I was doing. I avoided thought, it would betray me. Shigure appeared in the doorway, his voice sounded distant to me. He said something of Hatori and cleaning up. I paid no mind to it. The words that caught me were that we were visiting Akito. A sense of doom filled me, but subsided. I would get all that I deserve, and not a drop more. I deserved the worse than anything Akito could deal to me. I had murdered someone, massacred. Yuki assured me it wasn't my fault, that it'd all be ok. It made me feel sicker. His touch was something I didn't deserve, and I poisoned him. Yuki ran out of the room, most likely to speak with Shigure.

I sat there alone, scrubbing at myself. My flesh was raw and red from the scrubbing, though the red was most likely bloodstain. I set the pink tinted rag aside, and pulled on the black t-shirt Yuki had brought me.

Yuki returned to the room, he offered me his hand, "Come on, we've got to go see Akito. I won't let him hurt you."

I ignored his hand and stood up, tucking my hands in my pockets. "Let's go."

We walked outside, where Hatori's car was. He wasn't in the vehicle. He was most likely still cleaning up. I sat myself in the front, so Yuki wouldn't have to sit by me. I stole a glance back at him, he looked hurt. I didn't want to, but he needed to see I was no good, I wasn't worth his stress. And who knows, in a short time I may be dead or imprisoned for life.  Hatori and Shigure finally came to the car. Yuki looked to them as they got in the car. Hatori looked sick. 

He looked at me, and sighed, "Haru, I told you not to believe everything you hear from Akito-san."

"Hatori! Leave him alone," Yuki snapped, "it's not like he hasn't realized he made a mistake. It's not necessary for you to-"

I cut him off, "It's ok Yuki."

A deep sigh was heard. I looked back, Yuki watched me with an expression I couldn't read. Shigure wouldn't look at me. He hadn't met his eyes with mine once yet. Maybe he never would. 

The car ride to the Main House was never so long. The silence was a knife shearing our ears. We got there, and Hatori led me back to his room. I halted when I heard light footsteps behind us. I turned around, there was Yuki, treading down the hall more determined than he had ever been walking this path.

"Yuki, you're not going in there, you are not getting hurt on account of my stupidity," I told him, my words firm.

He stared straight into my eyes with a piercing gaze showing he wasn't about to let me go that easy, "no."

"Yuki, I mean it. I do not want you in there," 

He shook his head and took a step forward. I held out my hand and put it on his shoulder, "Yuki, go away."

I saw his Adam's apple jerk and could near see his mind recoil through his window-like eyes. I had never in my life told Yuki to go away. He turned around, and abandoned me, like I had ordered. I glanced to Hatori. His thoughts were a mystery to me. I was surprised how well Hatori and Shigure held together, and how fast their shock had worn off. It's almost as though they had expected it. Grief did weird things though, maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. We finished the walk to Akito's room and I let myself in. Akito wasn't lounging about as usual, he was sitting, waiting. He looked up, his ice eyes not as frightening as usual.

"Sit down, Hatsuharu."

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Things are winding down, but the clean up after the hurricane isn't always the nicest thing ever. R&R!


	11. Art of Life

_"I'm making the wall inside my heart  
I don't wanna let my emotions get out  
It scares me to look at the world"_

~~~~~Hatori~~~~~

It had been years ago, since I had seen such a thing. Shigure and I had been Haru's age. Akito was much younger. I had a tutor, named Seka. I was the smartest child at the time, and I was receiving advanced studies from her in biology. Shigure and I had been close friends. Too close most likely, to the point where Shigure thought we were something I knew we truly weren't. Unfortunately Shigure wasn't the only to think his way. Akito made a rare blunder by mistakenly thinking we were also together. 

He pulled me to his room one day, telling me I was his, he owned me. That it had better stay that way. That he noticed my straying from him. Akito ordered me to tell Shigure to live at his uncle's house. I obeyed out of fear for myself and my best friend. Shigure in turn accused me of being with Seka instead of him. I wasn't.

I had lost Shigure, my friend was gone. Akito watched me like a hawk, he still noticed my distance from him. It was him taking my friend away that made me avoid him. But now his gaze of contempt settled on Seka, an innocent bystander of hellfire. His jealousy rose and he killed her. Cold blooded murder.

Shigure understood then, that it hadn't been her. That Akito had caused the rift between friendships.

I could've paid him back, let him be tried for murder. Instead I used my power to protect him. Shigure's memory, the family's, both Seka's and my own I erased. Save Akito and myself, no one knew she had ever been to the Sohma house.

I never could bring myself to be close to Shigure like we had before. We were never lovers, but some bonds are not repairable…

~~~~~Haru~~~~~~

I sat on my knees before Akito, as I was commanded. I looked straight at him, like always. The difference this time was I didn't believe I was above him.

"Hatsuharu… my dear sweet Haru… You've surprised me," Akito's words cooed softly, "I underestimated you. This didn't turn out at all like I planned. It's better."

He came closer to me. One wicked hand rested itself upon my knee, supporting his emaciated weight. The other hand slithered up and caressed my cheek.

"Dear Haru…. I thank you. You put such a powerful twist to my plan that I never dreamed of…." He whispered in the seductive tone he carried while on victory, "He loved you Haru… now you've damned yourself, he can never love a murderer…"

I squeezed my eyes shut. So that was the game. Akito had split us up, it wasn't Yuki. Now I understood that day in the park, Yuki's tears, the pain he must have felt. And all of it was to protect me. I had once believed Akito never had any real power, how naïve that was. 

He removed his hand and I gazed Akito straight in the eye, "Good, because I'm not going to be around for him to love, and I don't want him to be pained."  
            "What do you mean? You are not going to prison. I have Hatori already out taking care of memories for that… even the cat's memory is to be erased so he doesn't turn you in. Yuki simply won't turn you in, he couldn't bring himself to the task," he smirked at me.

I smiled and stood up. My eyes had fallen upon something I hadn't expected in the room. A silver letter opener, ornamented with birds. I remembered that seemed decades ago that it had been decorated with my loves blood. I picked up the opener, which Akito no doubt had sharpened, for it was more dagger like than need be. "I don't plan to live and cause Yuki the pain of dealing with me. Farewell."

The door to Akito's room opened and Yuki stormed in, "NO!"

Before I could carry out my plans Yuki had raced across the room and stole the weapon from me. He then cast it to the floor.

Akito surprisingly looked at Yuki in approval, "thank you Yuki… it would be much too easy for Haru to get out of his guilt that easy. Sit down the both of you."

Yuki still feared Akito, his eyes told the story as he sat down. I followed and sat next to him. Akito's sneer was upon us.

"I see you dare to show care in front of me… Even though I demand you break it. Fine. You care, and it will hurt you," his sadistic smile made him more monster like. "Yuki, you best prevent Haru from turning himself in, or committing suicide. You will pay otherwise."

Akito had set a checkmate with that, he knew I wouldn't do anything to myself if Yuki was punished for it.

Yuki nodded, a shaky motion from his terror laden body. I reached over and grabbed his hand, a move of pure stupidity I was willing to defend with my life. 

Akito's eyes burned, but he said nothing on the matter, "You Haru… For you I have… special punishments. You will live in the same house as Yuki. You will sleep in that girl's old room. In her very bed. You may not change anything in there."  
  


My face paled, I could feel it, "what?"

"You understood me. If I find out you haven't been… and I will… The consequences…." his finger trailed down Yuki's lips to his neck, then down his chest, "will be great… Be gone with you now."

~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~

Two months had passed since Tohru had died, and misery still was thick in the air. Haru held to his punishment, sleeping and staying in her room, not changing anything. He had even removed the rug I had thrown over the spot in the floor that stained. He didn't even go to school anymore. He only left the room to eat and go to the bathroom. He just sat there, staring at the ceiling, or the floor. His mind was a mystery to me now. Whatever that mystery was, it was killing him.

Everyday I tried to coax him out, even if it was just out of his mental shell if not the room. It made me sick to enter the room, but I'd bear it. I always sat next to him, and wrapped an arm around him, or held his hand. He'd pull away, or just sit oblivious to my presence. I don't know what hurt worse, his rejection, or his disregard for me. Today was no different.

Haru sat on the bed, staring at the wall. Guilt made him a zombie, ate all the deep sweet emotion and life from him. I sat next to him, and wrapped my arm around him, today was one of the oblivious days, he ignored my presence. I buried my head on his shoulder, I hadn't cried in months, just like him, but it was getting harder everyday.

 "Please talk to me. Let me help you. I'm still here, I always will be, but I need you to talk, respond, do something," I whispered.  
            He responded, his voice weak from barely talking in two months, "Yuki, it'd be best if you stayed away from me. I've only caused you grief. I'm not worth being alive, but I will because it'll keep you safe if Akito has me for a toy. So go before Akito twists you over me again."

I stared at him, stood up, my arm sliding off him slowly. I didn't utter a word as I left the room, hugging my arms to my side. I went downstairs, and pulled my coat on. I started to open the door when Kyou shouted out to me.

"Hey, where you going?" He asked, swishing the milk carton he held in his hand annoyingly.

I rolled my eyes, "To see Hatori, baka neko."

"Fine! Hey, is that cow still all sick? What the hell is wrong with him anyway?" He asked, truly not knowing, Hatori had taken care of that.

"I don't know," I said quietly, "I've told you that every time, I don't know, lay off you jerk."

He growled, "Hey! Just because you want to screw him and he doesn't want you to isn't my fault!"

I turned around and faster than he could blink my foot connected with his head, flooring him. He stood up growling, ready to attack. I really didn't want to fight, but it was inevitable. As I was preparing to knock him on his ass again, Shigure came in the room and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Kyou-kun, don't pick on Yuki about Haru, ok? You don't really need more of a reason to humiliate yourself by having him beat you, you do that well enough on your own!" He giggled out and gave me a slight wink before Kyou turned on him, ranting.

I was grateful, Shigure had saved me from something I didn't want to discuss. I nodded to him, a silent thanks. I opened the door and walked down the front path. I was heading to the man who had caused Kyou the relief of a clean memory. It was now my turn to get relief, once and for all. All the memories would be gone, the sweet summer days of Haru and I would be gone, the memory of Tohru, the memory of Tohru's death would be gone. The pain would be gone, and my mind could rest easier than before.

                        ~~~~~Hatori~~~~~

I sat at my desk and the phone rang. I picked it up, wondering who was calling to say they were sick now.

"Hello?"

"Hiiiii! Guess who!" Shigure's voice called out in his sing song voice.

I sighed, wondering why he called now. He usually had a purpose, but could never help but to mess around. That was a favorite and a hated aspect of my friend.

"Shigure, what do you want?" I asked monotonously. 

"Awe, you're no fun… actually I call on serious matters," He said, his voice not as playful as before, "Yuki's coming to see you."

I drummed my fingers on the desk, "So? Is his asthma acting up?"

"Tori-san… don't be ridiculous, you know this is bigger beans than asthma."

I sighed, my smart ass mind wanting to say asthma was pretty big beans, but I resisted. "What is it then? Something about Haru I presume?"

There was a moment of silence, "I guess you could say it is about Haru… I think he's coming to ask the question. You know what one I mean."

I shut my eyes, knowing very well what he meant, and I didn't like it. "Ok Shigure, I understand. I must be going now."

"Alright, but Hatori, I wish to say this, you may consider granting Yuki's request. The mind is fragile, and it has been shattered in this case. You know how to repair it."

"Goodbye Shigure," I hung the phone up, and brushed my hair back, it returning to its position immediately. I sighed; it was going against Akito, but what could be done. No mind deserved what was being dealt to Haru or Yuki's.


	12. We Will Meet Again

This chapter is dedicated to Yuki The Rat, who wrote me a nice enough email to inspire me to get my butt on here and write this chapter ^_^ check out Yuki's stories, they're truly great.

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_"Where have you gone my love, my friend?  
Somewhere without the rain, I feel afraid now I feel alone  
Will we meet again? _

_Can you recall what we once knew?  
Somewhere without the pain, I feel afraid now, but not alone _

_We will meet again"_

~~~~Yuki~~~~

I walked to Hatori's house, playing in my brain what I would say. I would have my plans carried out. Hatori wouldn't like it, and I knew it, but he had to in this situation. I made it to his door and knocked. The stony faced doctor opened the door and didn't seem the least bit surprised to see me, "Hello Yuki, please come in, its cold out."

I entered the room, removing my shoes and hanging my coat on a rack near the door. I looked at Hatori, I wanted to get this over and done with, I wasn't feeling well enough for idle chit-chat. I heard Hatori click the door shut behind me. He must have read me loud and clear. He wandered into his office and sat in his chair. I seated myself and before I could talk he asked the million dollar question.

"Why are you here Yuki?"

I stared straight ahead, not looking at anything. Now was the time to spit out the words that would keep him safe forever.

"I want you to erase Haru's memory," I stated bluntly.

Hatori's eyes narrowed a little, though he had been expecting something else. He sighed a little and brought his hand to the bridge of his nose, "Yuki… Why… You know Akito ordered against it."

I choked, tears had welled in the back of my eyes, and they yearned to escape. I gulped and stared at him, "Remember Kana? How she tore herself up? You saved her Hatori, I ask you to save Haru. I would if I could but I can't. I'm useless to him now. I can ask for this… as the final gift. It's less than he deserves, but what can I do Hatori?"

Hatori sat for a moment, silent. He nodded a little, and said quietly, "Alright. I will do this for you, because I hate seeing you and Haru like this. I will free you both from your pain, you need and deserve it."

"What? No you misunderstood me Hatori," I blinked a little realizing he thought I meant both of us, "My memory… the memories of Haru and I will stay intact in my mind. I want you to only erase Haru's."

A confused eye was what met me, "What? You deserve it too, I really must contend, you shouldn't deal with the pain alone, it isn't fair. It eats at you every day. You have no idea." He trailed off, and I knew he was talking of himself.

"Hatori, this is my punishment. I hurt my love, I was weak. That weakness destroyed a lovely mind, and killed an innocent girl. I deserve this, and I don't want to forget, ever. I want Haru to start fresh, and then I can fix things… I know what I'm doing Hatori, trust me," I told him, never more sure of myself. I stood up, ready to leave, "Please… can you come over tonight? Around 7 o'clock?"

Hatori stood up and paused in front of me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and whispered quietly, and I sensed the bitter sound of sorrow in his voice, "I'm sorry Yuki, that you ever had to go through this."

I nodded, and turned to leave, taking that as my yes.

~~~~Haru~~~~

I buried my head in a pillow, I smelled her scent. I stared at the wall and my eyes drifted to carnage stains upon the floor and my mind. I walked to the other parts of the house, a dreary feeling of something missing met me. Shigure's eyes would still not greet mine. I knew Hatori hadn't taken his memory. I wish he had, but I guess I deserved the punishment.

Yuki kept trying to talk to me, comfort me. I hated it. I shouldn't be blessed with his presence. I had only caused him grief, I just wished I could die, or be sent to prison. Damn Akito for doing this, his torture was the most painful anyone could deal. I wish the cops had been smart enough to find her, not actually believe the cock-and-bull story that was fed to them by Hatori. I wrapped my arms tight around my sides, when the door opened for the first time in hours. Yuki had returned. 

He crossed the room and sat by my side, wrapping his arm around me. I held still, it was a guilty comfort for me, but I felt a slight bit happy he was there. I stayed silent, allowing him to cling to me. He whispered little things to me, I knew he was just trying to get me to forgive myself, I'd never do it. Never. But still, for the moment, I would revel in Yuki's soft arms around me and his gentle voice on my mind.

~~~~Yuki~~~~

I wandered around town, knowing Haru wouldn't allow me to sit in his room for hours on end. I walked in the park, saw the bench that fateful day that had started this all. I passed the tree so long ago Haru had spied on me, saw me writing a poem. I had never been much of a poet, but I still owned that poem. I reached into my wallet, where I had kept it safe for years. I sat below the tree, it had been a favorite spot for Haru and me for years. I pulled the fragile paper out of my wallet and unfolded it.

**_"Gentle eyes and mind and mouth_**

**_Set upon a perfect face_**

**_Forbidden love, I'd never trick you_**

**_You think it's me who's saved thee_**

**_More like you have saved me_**

**_Haru-kun, you've set the bait_**

**_You're a mousetrap for this rat_**

**_I'll be your prince Yuki,_**

**_if you give me the sign"_**

I grimaced slightly, it was truly terrible writing, but it had always made me smile. It still did, but now it was a sad smile, accompanied by watery eyes. I folded the paper replacing it in my wallet. I then rested my head on my knees, killing time, my enemy and savior.

*                       *                       *

I returned to Shigure's house and retreated to Haru's room. I sat on the bed next to the vacant boy knowing soon this would be over. It killed and satisfied me. He would be happy, but those days we had spent so long together would be gone. I held Haru, and he just sat there. I was glad he didn't deter me. I needed to hold him now, one last time while he remembered everything. I didn't speak; there was nothing I could say to him. It was 6:30, every minute we were closer to losing everything. Those memories, so precious to me, and once precious to the one I shared them with would be gone from him. The memories were left to rot alone in my mind. I would forever cherish and mourn them.

It was ticking closer to seven. I squeezed Haru a little tighter, and felt a tear slide down my cheek. The tear was for the day we met at the window, the nights camping in the backyard, the days in the park, the laughing at school. The little clay cow and rat.

I heard a knock from below, and the door opening and soft murmuring voices. I clung to Haru tighter, this was it. I gently stroked his hair, and stared up at him.

"Haru… please, look at me one last time," I whispered, my voice begging.

I saw his blank stare stop and turn to me, a tad confused, "What?"

"I just want to tell you, I will always love you… and I don't blame you." I said quietly wishing I could tell him to never forget it, " And I'm sorry. I won't ever forget what we have. You won't have to worry anymore Haru, it's all going to be ok."

He continued to stare at me mystified, when the door to the room opened. Hatori walked in. I saw Haru's eyes widen, in fear for a moment. His gaze turned to me, his eyes watering. He broke into tears.

He knew my plans now, and he lay in my arms sobbing. I held onto him, telling him it was all going to be ok. He slowed his tears. He turned to face Hatori, who could've been the most fearsome devil or the most benevolent god to him at this moment, I knew not which. Hatori looked to the ground, waiting for us to say when. 

We both slid to sit on the ground, Haru sat between my legs, his back leaning against my chest. He held my hand, and whispered, "I'm sorry Yuki. And thank you… but please, don't forget me. I love you."

I nodded a little and kissed the top of his head. "You've always been forgiven… and thank you, for teaching me so much," I gripped his hand tightly, "You'll never be alone."

 Hatori kept his eyes from us, I knew they were wet. He kneeled down quietly, not looking either of us in the eyes as he placed a hand on Haru's forehead, "I'm sorry Haru."

~~~~Haru~~~~

The moment Hatori walked in the room I felt forgiven, by everyone. It wasn't fair, I was getting off without punishment, but no one cared. I was scared, and realized my sweet memories of Yuki and I would be gone. I also realized, Yuki would be keeping his memories, I knew him too well. He would never allow them to be taken from him. They would hurt him, unless he could make new ones, which I prayed he would. I whispered to him, "I'm sorry Yuki. And thank you… but please, don't forget me. I love you." They were the truest words spoken, and a plea to start anew. 

 My heart pounded as Hatori put his hand to my forehead. He whispered his apologies to me, for what I know not.

"I'm sorry Haru…"

It felt though a sledge hammer hit me in the head, and memories of Yuki, the day by the window, him soothing my worries of a lost gerbil, the memory of the little clay cow and rat, the memory of that day by the tree. The sweet day that we confessed, the day that in essence, saved and damned us. The day I ran in and defied Akito, and cried outside the door fearing for his life. The face he wore when he came to see me covered in gore, his soft embrace and kind words minutes before. All of them ran through my head.

I slammed back into Yuki, and I remembered no more.

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I'm sorry, I had to do it, I'm bawling all over too *shares tissues* I believe the next chapter may be the last one unless something really weird happens and there is a creative upheaval by the muses. Please read and review.


	13. Decompression Debilitation

~~~~Yuki~~~~

            A few weeks had passed since Haru's memory had been erased. I spent the first day crying, and the first week in pain. Haru remained at the main house for a while, Hatori said it would be best.

            During that time, I had been ordered to see Akito. The visit was hellish on me. I expected him to lash out with every word cooed from his lips.

 "You disobeyed me Yuki… by rights I should have you re-educated to the severest of punishments…" He said softly, his hand dancing on my face.

            I felt myself trembling, but I wouldn't back down, not this time. I stared him in the eyes, "I'm not abandoning him, and you can't stop me."

Akito stood up, his eyes boring down on me, a devilish smile across his face, "Oh… we shall see… for now, you may be. Stay with the stupid cow. Just remember, sweet Yuki..." He reached to me, and pulled my chin up so my eyes met his cold grey orbs, "The harder you love… the harder you fall. I broke you once, I will do it again."

I stared into his harsh eyes, and rose to me feet, "Love conquers all, your control on us has expired."

I stood up and walked out of the room, faintly hearing and ignoring Akito ordering me back. 

It was undoubted I would pay for this later, that Haru and I still would have to fight. Fight until the tyrant was laid to rest. But I could do it now, I had been through hell and back, I could endure any punch thrown at me. Let Akito bring on his re-education, I wasn't scared. For once, I would be strong.

*                   *                  *

I sat on my bed, thoughts stampeding through my head. Haru was due to show up any moment, Hatori had agreed we could see each other again. I was not to speak of Tohru unless asked, which shouldn't happen. I was by no means to tell what had actually happened. Including Haru's time with me. Hatori said it would be obvious a mind erase had occurred if I reminded him of anything.

            I sighed deeply, and heard my door creak open. Immediately my eyes flashed to the door, and the familiar white haired boy looked back at me. His face was blank, not filled with the joy I so had come accustomed to when we saw each other before. 

I took a deep breath, trying to keep composure. I stood up and walked to him, "Hello Hatsuharu, it's a pleasure to see you again, and I think we'll make good roommates. My hopes are we become the best of friends." My soul was crying, enraged I couldn't hold him again. 

            He nodded a little, like he was contemplating if I was teasing him or not. He raised his chin up boldly, "You're a rat, I'm not supposed to trust or like you. But..."

            I wanted to die at the words. I looked at him, wondering if the immense hurt in me was showing. I was in awe, the amount erased was more then I could ever imagine, even our childhood memories were gone. I gulped deeply and shut out the thoughts, "But?"

            He smiled, that sweet easy going smile I loved, "but, something inside argues. Quite the opposite really, I wish to trust you with all my heart. Can I trust the sneaky devilish rat?"

            I thought for a moment and with a smile walked to my sock drawer. 

            Carefully wrapped, as it had been for a year or so, was the little clay cow and rat. My trembling hands unwrapped the treasure; more precious then the genies lamp, the samurai's sword, or ones own pride. I smiled, proud the animals were in perfect condition, I may have wept had they not.

            I returned to Haru, and gently pulled his hand in mine. He looked at me confused for a moment. A tiny smile rose on his face, as well as a blush in his cheeks. I gently opened his hand and placed the little cow with the rat on its back in his hand. He cocked his head and gazed at it for a moment, then looked at me questioningly.

            "Why should you trust the rat? Let me tell you a story… The cow wasn't tricked into carrying the rat… Trickery had nothing to do with it; it was love, and only love." I started off, ready for him to learn the true story.

As he softly smiled, I realized for the first time in a year, it would all be ok, that nothing, not even a god clad in fury terror and pain could break the eternal love of the rat and cow.

                        ~~~~Akito, four months later~~~~

            I am now too sick to even move. My time will be over soon. The thought depresses and excites me, but for now I just wait. I put up with Hatori's doctor visits, and Shigure's attempts at cheering me. Today I just sit, and gaze out the window. Today I don't gaze at the flowers or the birds. I gaze at Yuki and Haru, in the garden.

            Yuki has placed a flower in Haru's hair, it looks ridiculous. I smirk, knowing I can do nothing now. I tried to punish them, they overcame it. Where am I to go from here? I have failed as head of house, and everyone knows it. I watch the boys, they sit together, holding each other close. It makes me more nauseas than I had been. I had wanted them to be birds, for them to fly. Yuki had almost flown, ordering Haru's memory erased. Then he crashed, associating with him once more. 

            He was a damn pigeon.

            A pigeon that loved a cow, ridiculous.

            But they looked so happy. What I would've given to be like that. I lay back on my pillow, bored of watching them. I was alone, and I was no bird. I shut my eyes, still waiting. Soon, I would be free, I would have wings.

~~~~Haru~~~~

            Yuki and I sat in the garden, talking to each other and playing around though we had been friends for years. He had put some pink flower in my hair. It was silly, but it made him laugh. His smile was gold to me, and if it took me looking like a ninny to get it, I would do it. I smiled happily, I remember being sad and miserable for months and months. Four short months in Yuki's care and I was revived. How could I have known my love would go to the one I was told to not trust, the sneaky manipulative rat?

            I wrapped my arms tightly around him and kissed his cheek, happy he had handed me a scrap of paper with a poem on it. I would never tell him but it was rather child-like. Instead I told him the other truth, it was the best thing I had ever received, and it made me giddy to read it.

            I smiled to him, his princely grin returned mine. I hugged him tight and whispered in his ear, "Thank you… for confessing your love for me… I don't know if I could've done it."

            I felt his hand squeeze my own, and he talked as though he knew something I didn't, "You could've. I just believed it was my turn to say something."

            I kissed his soft lips, and he returned it. He looked into my eyes, something he never failed to do, and told me without shame or hesitation, "You've taught me so much… thank you... You will never be alone. Don't ever forget that."

            I hugged him, my mind was nagging with the words déjà vu, and I discarded the thought. "Thank you Yuki. I will never leave your side. Don't _you_ forget it!"

            With a grin I jumped to my feet and offered him my hand which he gladly took. "I'm hungry, want to go home and find some food?"

            He laughed, and wrapped his arm around my waist, letting himself lean into me. A slight nod left his head, "Let's go home."

            We took off still clinging, heading home together. It should have always been this way. It can't be made up, but we can always keep it this way, and I intend to. Yuki was right, the rat didn't trick the cow, it was love, an undying devotion.

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My life begins today   
right this minute I'm accepting my weaknesses   
continued struggle   
goes on forever   
the pointlessness of feeling useless   
we can survive tonight,   
tonight while I'm at your side   
I'm through crying over the milk that has yet to spill

standing still, amidst a commotion   
while the force against us is in perpetual motion   
we can survive tonight   
tonight and I'm at your side   
We don't need to be all alone   
we can hold up one another   
We won't be all alone, if we hang on to each other   
Days spent in a hurry, destined never to return   
don't fret, don't worry, we've got lessons left to learn

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I feel warm and fuzzy. I hope you do too. =P  Thanks to you all for reading and reviewing, so appreciated you have no idea ^^  

Till next time,

Haru-the-bishie-chaser

Song list/credits: (wouldn't want Metallica to have a hissy fit and sue me now would we?)

Don't let me be misunderstood- The Animals

Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden

Killing Game- Skinny Puppy

Dreamer- Ozzy Osbourne

Lonely is the Night- Billy Squier

Nothing Else Matters- Metallica 

In the End- Linkin Park

Blackheart- V-mob

Black and White- Static X

Bloody Valentine- Good Charlotte

Lip Gloss and Black- Atreyu

Art of Life- X Japan

We will meet again- Vast

Decompression/Debilitation- The Impossibles


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